Vivarium
PRP To heal the heart that breaks - Printable Version

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To heal the heart that breaks - Alder - 4/15/2026

And just like that, it was over.

His fangs grazed against one of the last remaining wraiths, and for a heartbeat, the world held still - then the distant sound of wolfsong began to rise, threading through the frozen air. It swelled into a chorus as more and more voices joined the cry, echoing across the mountains, far beyond the woodlands, until the sky itself suddenly split and fractured with the sound. Alder looked up in wonder as the dark clouds parted at last, blinking in the first rays of sunlight.

Beneath him, the snow rippled and began to dissolve, collapsing into ever-widening rivulets that caught the dawn's first rays like glitter. Golden light spilled over the horizon in a slow, unstoppable tide, and with it came a surge of green - he looked all around as tender buds sprouted and matured before his very eyes, grass unfurled by the acre, as life itself flooded every inch of the earth in a single, breathless instant.

He stood beneath the Great Tree, chest heaving, as winter gave way all at once.

He looked down at Sølvi.

... I guess... that's it.



Some time later...

Alder found himself shuffling at the outskirts of Dawnbreak. Somehow, he was always shuffling at the outskirts of Dawnbreak. He winced as the bite-wounds in his left shoulder suddenly twinged, a reminder of his battle against the wraiths, but he tried to ignore the pain as he awkwardly called out to Solvi to - to say goodbye, he supposed. See if she needed anything on his way back to Northfall.

The sunstone hung heavily around his neck.

Dusk had already begun to settle in like a soft shroud, the last vestiges of light fading below the mountains of the western horizon. Alder looked up to see the first twinkling lights appear overhead; how long had it been since he had seen the stars? He smiled in spite of himself. The world had been restored, the fissures had closed, and life could continue on as it was meant to - but somewhere deep within, selfishly and secretly, he almost regretted it. There was a sense of urgency, an almost necessary closeness that drew souls together during the end of the world.

And now it wasn't ending anymore.

Alder sighed.




RE: To heal the heart that breaks - Solvi - 4/19/2026

Skill
Doctor (1/5)



Her heart leapt into her throat when Alder's fire-bright coat battled through the throngs of wolves fending off wraiths, but her objections died in her throat when he settled in at her side. Admiration for him and the resolute shift in her chest that, at the end of days, on the precipice of the apocalypse, there was no one else she wanted to see, battled for first place.

If The Mother saw fit to tear her from Mythris, then she would gladly spend those final, sacred moments at Alder's side. The thought was galvanizing and gave her the wherewithal to hold onto her spark of defiance she was so ill-accustomed to; she was not violent by nature and she could count her non-sparring physical altercations on one paw because there were none to precede this one - if she didn't count her run-in with Cypress, which was very much involuntary and steeply one-sided.

Otherwise? She was soft-pawed, meant to mend and not break the skin of those around her. All the same, she shoved those details to the back of her mind as she tried her best to emulate those around her. Most likely, she had all the bluster of an irritated cotton ball, but she gave it the old college try.

It seemed like the battle ended as quickly as it began and, despite how winded she was from the exertion after being fairly stationary in her convalescence, she huffed and puffed with an expression of open-eyed wonder at the song picked up all around them. It buzzed in her veins, felt more than heard, as the earth awakened from its too-long slumber. Green shot through the snowy coverage, breaking from its frozen bonds and reaching for the life-giving sun.

Solvi's eyes couldn't seem to stay in one spot for long as she spun in place to take it all in - but Alder's voice pulled her from her inspection.

More than the fresh spring, the brightening sky, and the magic fizzing in the very atmosphere, it was seeing him whole that drew her attention and held it.

A smile curved along her muzzle - a genuine one, despite the low supply of such in recent days - as she pressed a relieved sigh through her nose.

It is over, she confirmed, stepping into his space to press her shoulder to his.

— ☀ — ☀ — ☀ —

The little fireflies were strange.

Solvi was pretty sure they weren't insects at all, but she wasn't quite sure what else to call them. They collected whenever she grew still, be it slumber or in the midst of a task that rendered her stationary, and lingered on her fur, the smallest pinpoints of sunlight with a bluish tint - as if the sky and sun both converged into pricks of light. She was startled - rightfully so - when she woke the first time to find a blanket of them gilding her fur, but they were growing less and less alarming in their presence.

In a way, she found their quiet company welcome.

Solvi couldn't be certain what they actually were, but they didn't hurt when they touched her and seemed to operate on some sort of autonomy and whimsy all their own. So, she left her little fireflies be.

They stirred as she was coaxed from her nap by a summons for her - but more importantly, a summons from Alder. She almost tripped over her own paws in her sleep-hazed clumsiness, scarcely taking a moment to half-tidy her fur before plunging through the awakening foliage to beeline straight for him.

Pale paws flew over the terrain and she almost didn't halt in time to avoid colliding with him. For both their sakes, The Mother was looking over Alder's shins and the small cannon ball managed to halt her motion in time to leave a few feet between them. Her tail waved at her heels, a bottle-brush blur until the metallic scent of blood caught her nose and it slowed to a still.

The contentment that settled across her features fell as a divot formed between her brows and she looked him over with greater scrutiny, the analytical and laser-focused attention of a seasoned hedgewitch.

I had hoped you would not be injured the next time you called upon me, Solvi said as she took a half-step forward, green-blue eyes latching onto Alder's molten ones. Her words harkened back to their interaction following Cypress' death, when Alder sought her out with the injuries he sustained from it. Even though she'd checked the space where open wounds once lingered from a distance, she pointedly looked back at the leg now as though she expected the injury to return. Though forever marked for Cypress' efforts, the flesh did not unknit itself beneath her visual inspection.

When her attention shifted back to Alder's gaze, it was softer and less frantic, but worry still resided within it when she dialed her head faintly to one side. Were you injured during the fight at the tree? she asked.

Guilt sank its teeth into her when she realized she hadn't checked him over for wounds immediately following the brawl - then again, there had been remarkably little she could have done with her medical stash inaccessible. Matters were not helped by the lack of spring to coax herbs into repopulation until only very recently - she had a formidable task ahead of her to replenish stores. As she stood, seized by her thoughts, the little fireflies slowly drifted to gather in the fiber of her fur.



RE: To heal the heart that breaks - Alder - 4/22/2026

Like a ray of sunlight piercing the clouds, Solvi dashed through the underbrush without care or yielding. For a fraction of a moment he also thought they might collide, but where this Mother thought she was doing him a favor in stopping the little wood-sprite, he only lamented their distance.

She stood in front of him, out of breath and slightly disheveled, but no less radiant.

If I stayed perfectly safe, how else could I get an appointment? he teased with an ever-broadening grin, tail wagging gently in spite of his best efforts. How effortlessly she lit up the world around her, he thought as a dull ache bloomed in his chest - and how stark the contrast felt when she was gone.

She stepped forward as Alder's heart leapt into his throat.

... The tree? he asked dumbly. OH! Oh. Yeah, the tree. It's nothing, though, healing just fine on its own.

Wait.

Fuck.

But I mean, if you - wanted to look. To make sure.

He half-knelt to allow her a better field for inspection, kicking himself internally for almost missing another chance to breathe in Solvi's scent at such close proximity. Who knew when he'd be able to visit her again? It had to count. He had to drink in as much of her as he could hold, carry it back with him to Northfall and sleep with the warm light of her gaze always before his mind's eye -

Alder noticed the small glowing orbs rotating slowly around her form.

That was new, he thought.




RE: To heal the heart that breaks - Solvi - 4/24/2026

Skill
Doctor (2/5)



It never ceased to be a welcome sight to have her gaze fall upon Alder. Solvi wondered sometimes if her heart would ever not knock at each first glance, but she had long accepted it was simply the toll she owed to share his company.

A cost she was willing to pay, even if the discordant, unruly beat one day sent her into cardiac arrest.

She wasn't sure if someone could die from such a thing, but she wasn't convinced it couldn't.

Combined with the funny little ditty her heart did to have him call specifically for her, Solvi had a difficult time tamping down the urge to preen or shy away.

Alder's tease earned him a sharp look, her lips twitching as she fought to retain her attempt at a stern expression. Her performance was poor, especially as the would-be angular edges of it softened.

You never need an appointment, Solvi told him, half-chastising but her heart wasn't in it to scold him, not really. She almost told him she would drop most anything for him if he asked it of her, but she stopped herself short and instead offered, Did I not tell you to call upon me at any time?

Solvi's head canted faintly to one side as he seemed to slowly come to the realization that she had: he was injured at the tree. Had he been traveling with his injury so long that he had grown accustomed to the pain? Guilt was a living, breathing beast betwixt her ribs and her brow scrunched again. He seemed to try and play it off which only served to worry her more.

Thankfully, he acquiesed to her and lowered his gargantuan frame to give her better access to the injury. Relief bled into her and her features eased. I would very much like to make sure, she agreed quickly, without a second thought. The idea of him hurting, even for a moment, was almost more than she could bear.

She sidled closer to him, distinctly aware of being so close as to feel his body heat - sending the collection of fireflies swirling into the air and fading into thin air. Something nagged at her, a memory she somehow couldn't collect; she remembered visiting a fire with Alder, but most of whatever happened there was a great, big expanse of nothing. A black field sprawled where the memory belonged, and she chalked it up to the weird headache she had the next day.

Alder never seemed to remark about it, so she presumed all was well and nothing out of the ordinary had come to pass.

It was weird. But it wasn't like she had never shared contact with Alder; he carried her up Northfall, for The Mother's sake. Granted, she had been little more than a corpse at the time, so her attention was understandably elsewhere, but even so, she was incapable of not subconsciously leaning closer to his space than perhaps she needed to for her inspection of his wound.

Yes, she was definitely just checking the injury etched across his shoulder. It was shallow - more shallow than she thought, and the flesh around it was already healing. In fact, if she put some of her poultice combinations on it, she would actually slow the progress. The last thing Solvi wanted to do was cause him more harm because she wanted to greedily steal more time with him.

She hummed thoughtfully, focused, as her nose dipped forward, inspecting the area around it and "searching for any accessory injuries." Solvi could tell there were none, but she wouldn't pass up an opportunity to have an excuse to touch him, even if the glancing contact was innocent.

He smelled just as delightful as she remembered - just as he had when she buried her nose into his neck upon their reunion. It had seemed so natural to embrace him as she had then, but now she overthought everything. She worked each thought over in her head until she convinced herself he had just been happy she hadn't died - after all, she had died before and disappeared without a trace. Anyone would be happy to see their thought-dead friend returned from the "dead", right?

It does seem minor, she begrudgingly conceded, drawing her head back and watching him sidelong as she once again grappled for the solemn visage of a concerned medic. But you should definitely stay for a little while, just in case it decides to get worse.

Even if it was just fifteen minutes stolen away before he had to return to Northfall.

When he was away, it felt like leagues parted them instead of a day or so's travel. He owed Northfall a great deal and his duties lay there, and she vowed and dedicated her abilities to the wellbeing of Dawnbreak. They had been the first to stick their necks out for her, and ragtag as they all were, they were her found family.

Nodding her head once, resolute and with blustered conviction in her prognosis, she added, Mender's orders. She hoped he didn't see through her smokescreen for what it was - a fabricated excuse to keep his company. Can never be too sure with shoulder injuries, you know.

There was nothing more precarious about a shoulder injury over any other, but Alder did not need to know that.



RE: To heal the heart that breaks - Alder - 4/29/2026

Feigning thorough chastisement, Alder looked away as she set to her inspection. His gaze just happened to fall upon Solvi's delicate paws below and he wondered idly how she managed to get anything done with them.

More than that, it was a miracle she had survived whatever forces had dumped her in the middle of Northfall's greatest blizzard to date, skin and bones that she'd been - even now she still struggled to recover, slowly earning back the vital weight shed during her plight and looking dangerously close to blowing away at the next strong breeze.

Alder had always taken up so much space by comparison. For a long time he'd hated it; hated the attention it drew, hated the crimson of his fur, always feeling like a big red blob standing starkly on the horizon. Clumsy and foolish and forever fucking up.

But for whatever reason... Solvi didn't seem to mind it. In fact, if he thought quite hard about it, she often looked... happy in his presence.

And he didn't even need an appointment.

His mind also drifted back toward a foggy memory, a distant vision of pink flames and sweet-smelling smoke, but the details escaped him in much the same way they did Solvi. He could remember - he could remember warmth. Warmth and her. What had she been doing there? Or had he simply dreamed it?

As the little doctor observed his shallow wounds, her chin casually grazed across the tips of his fur and a bright jolt of panic mixed with something else rippled down the length of his spine, causing his skin to convulse. He experienced a little disappointment when she (correctly) assessed his injuries to be minor, perhaps some secret part of him wanting a reason to stick around and -

Stay?

Wha -

Heat crept into his cheeks.

Do you - uh, do you mean that?

Very much in spite of himself, his tail began to wag.

Alder had been down this road of speculation before. To any intelligent wolf, the signs were all there - but he was not any intelligent wolf. He was Alder, with the fragile self-esteem of a waterlogged and wingless sparrow; yet as time marched on between them, he had tentatively begun to suspect that his attachment wasn't necessarily one-sided.

The sunstone she'd gifted him had never once been removed from his neck since the moment she placed it there.

... How long do you want me to stay? Alder asked, his tone suddenly a great deal more serious.

There was a sense that he wasn't talking about medicine anymore.



RE: To heal the heart that breaks - Solvi - 4/29/2026

Skill
--- (3/5)



She attempted, unsuccessfully, to hide a smile at his effort to at least seem chastised. Solvi was often stuck in a strange in-between when it came to treating his injuries; she would always be unhappy to see him anything less than the perfect image of health, but she would be lying if she said she was disappointed to be the one tending him when he faltered.

Ever since they left Northfall, a lead weight had occupied her chest. She could think of nothing less she wanted than to be apart from him, especially after spending several days in his company and enjoying his proximity. There was an ease there, even when she had been ailing spiritually, emotionally, and even physically - as guilty as she felt admitting it to herself, she was grateful she had turned up at Northfall's hem and not in Dawnbreak.

She cared for her pack deeply and trusted each and every one of them, but in that moment - and a great many others - it was Alder's side she sought. The complexity had come in the distance between the two packs, the barrier between seeking his out as regularly as she would have liked.

Waking up for the first time after he rescued her, curled in his side and stealing his body heat (and Sreda's, though she focused less on that part) was embedded into her memories. She resisted the urge to bury her muzzle into his neck even now for the familiar scent and warmth, but only barely.

Her appraisal of his wound was, however, a source of disappointment even for her. Disappointment and the glimmering, selfish hope he would play along with her game and agree to her terms - to stay, even when she knew he did not need to. She suspected he probably would realize the same, too, warrior that he was, but her doe eyes were the epitome of innocence as she awaited his rebuttal.

He seemed to take the bait at first and she proffered a sage, knowing nod.

Yes, I am certain, she doubled down. The sway of his tail caught her eye and her heart skipped. Did he want to stay as much as she wanted him to? Her sight lifted just in time to catch his as his question formed in the air between them.

They were no longer speaking of shoulder injuries, of recovery time and the perils of traveling while hurt.

Solvi wasn't certain she'd heard him speak in this tone before, and it was sobering. Her breath stalled, and so, too, did her heart. The atmosphere grew dense, an intensity about it pressing into her - into them. Everything balanced on a knife's edge with the potential to swing either way based upon the next words to roll off her tongue.

His question was at odds with the fabrication she came up with; she could only hope to steal him away for moments, a day at most, but was that the truth of the matter? Alder had his responsibilities and she had hers, and neither aligned. Her green eyes bobbed between each of his sunglow ones, as if she could coax some answer from them if she looked long enough.

If she was being honest with herself, she had her own answer prepared the moment he asked. There was no hesitation in the word "forever" that was pressed just behind her lips, on the tip of her tongue seeking freedom.

But if she was wrong about the way he was looking at her, could she withstand the fallout such a rejection would bring? Her heart beat with such rapidity she feared he could hear it, or that it would break free from her chest in a desperate bid to be put out of its misery. Hope - hope that she wasn't going to be worse for taking this risk surged.

Solvi took a full step toward him, pausing with a single paw lifted just above the ground as she looked up at him. Words and speaking had never been a difficult feat for Solvi, but when it came to Alder, she always struggled - because it meant more, because he had the power to break her in ways that no one else did.

She swallowed through the tightness of her throat, the vise held in place by her heart.

When she finally spoke, her voice was soft of tone and tinged with a layer of carefulness, intention.

A day, she ventured, taking a step forward. A week, a month. Another step, leaving them so close she could feel the warmth radiating from him. With her head canted back to hold his gaze, a shy smile settled on her features as she peeled back what little armor remained, discarding it. Her pulse leapt, spurred by the crescendo of moments leading to this one. She wondered, idly, if her heart would simply give out before she could deliver the words to him. For as long as you would stay.



RE: To heal the heart that breaks - Alder - 4/29/2026

Whatever the severity of his shoulder injuries, Alder's heart now hammered so thunderously in his chest the wolf felt increasingly concerned he was about to suffer an actual medical event. Cruel irony that it was the doctor herself who would inflict such an ailment upon her patient! As the long pauses between them grew longer still, it felt more and more like the pair were engaged in some strange kind of dance only their minds could perceive.

Did she? Didn't she? Alder was by now quite certain regarding how he felt, but did she still see him as only a close friend? She was always so happy with everyone, even strangers, he thought...

... But the sunstone around his neck caught the last of the fading light, and a sudden warmth dared to bloom within his chest as Solvi slowly began to approach.

'A day.'

He froze; his ears were ringing. Did he need to lie down or vomit?

'A week;'

Fuck.

'a month.'

How flippantly she seemed to discard her words as she drew closer, scattering them all around like petals as the ringing in his ears had reached a crescendo.

Solvi's final statement hung in the air.

Alder looked as if he'd been struck down.

Forever, he blurted out.

The dam broke.

From the moment they'd met, he had always associated her with the sun. Warm and golden and bright, lighting up the world around her with her sweet innocence and cheerful disposition, Solvi had been the very opposite of Alder - and like a moth drawn to a flame he had forever after felt an increasingly desperate need to be around her, to bask in the light she shed.

The sky that day had stretched wide above them as a living canvas awash in brilliant, shifting hues, each color bleeding gloriously into the next - a rainbow as immense and endless as the love he held in his heart for her.

And he couldn't stop now if he tried.

I mean, if you're okay with forever. Although there's still Northfall and you're part of Dawnbreak, but I guess I could ask to leave or maybe they'd let me visit, or we could just figure it out as we go, he babbled, panic rising as the words spilled out in a torrent. Figure it out like, I mean, if you think, if we're - if -

She was there. She was right there. Her scent was intoxicating; her eyes limpid pools of forest green. What the hell was he even thinking?

Things usually turned out better when he didn't.

Alder swallowed nervously, leaned forward, and pressed his nose to hers as he closed his eyes and breathed a silent prayer. Moments passed and Solvi probably thought he'd either gotten stuck like that or passed out standing - but then he spoke in a very small voice, so soft she almost had to hold her breath to hear it.

I love you, Solvi, he rasped, voice cracking beneath the pressure he felt welling up inside.

When you were gone, I was terrified - fuck, I still am. I almost lost you once already, he continued, chest tightening, All my life I’ve fought to keep my distance, to feel less, to never let anyone matter this much, because they either end up leaving me or they die, and there's nothing I can do to prevent it!

Viscaria's corpse flashed across his mind and he struggled to shut it out.

But I don't care about - about not caring, Solvi! I don't care anymore, and I'm ready to spend eternity suffering for it if it means just one moment longer with you.

Alder's throat constricted and he barely managed to get the next words out as he very shyly and very abruptly buried his face in her neck. He couldn't bear to look at her expression for fear of what he might see.

Please; let me stay forever in your sunlight.



RE: To heal the heart that breaks - Solvi - 5/12/2026

Skill
--- (2/5)



Every one of her pauses were an opportunity she gave him to leave - to back away, to withdraw.

Between the moment, of her words and his, the space of a mere heartbeat, she was unmade. Everything she was had been placed on the ground, each component vulnerable and exposed.

He had the power to destroy her, to dismantle her.

But he didn't - she knew he wouldn't. He reforged her in the depths of his devotion instead.

"Forever."

Hearing the word that she had bitten back spoken by him transformed the small bow of her lips into a grin, her heart skipping on its next beat.

Forever, she echoed, voice one of awe. Her eyes glittering with unshed tears as she studied him in search of any evidence this was a dream state and he wasn't real. A speck of stardust, an edge blurred - but the only interlopers to their moment were her fireflies that danced around them, mostly aiming for her but brushing past him in their descent as well.

His rambling words pulled a string of laughter from her, his anxieties and the many details they would figure out rising to the air. It was as though he has dipped into her mind, lifting her worries and sharing their burden - and she hadn't spoken a word of them.

We will figure it out, she soothed, stepping closer until she could feel his warmth seep into and join her own, her fireflies scattering into a veil of speckled light all around them with the small movement. I know we will.

Her pulse galloped when he lowered his muzzle to hers, but she did not have to consciously decide anything - she leaned in to meet him driven entirely by the magnetism that always drew them together, their noses meeting and sending a fizz of elation, of rightness through her. The feeling only intensified as his words reached her. Solvi's eyes found his across their shared contact and she shifted her nose, not to break their touch but to shift it; her muzzle tilted to press into the corner of his lips, placing a small kiss there.

And I love you, Alder, she returned, the words half-breathed against his skin as a solemn vow as much as spoken. I think, all along, I always have.

How else did she explain their meeting between a sky that was painted in The Mother's blessings? She had guided them together, hitching their fates to one another, a port in the storm neither of them knew they must weather. Their connection had been tested, found tried and true with each obstacle they overcame. Whenever she had faltered, he was always there.

Always.

Even before they spoke the words they now did, before they gave a name to the sensation beneath her breast bone where her heart felt too large for the space it occupied.

Her heart clenched as Alder unspooled himself before her, confessing his worries for her but also the determination to not let his fears consume him as they had. Solvi regretted he worried for her while she was torn from him, but she couldn't find it in herself to hate the knowledge he pined for her as she did for him.

I feared I would never see you again when I was torn away, she admitted, searching his gaze as she simultaneously broadcast the despair she had shared with him, even as worlds divided them. More than all else I lost, I mourned you the most. You have never been lesser, not to me.

Her muzzle drifted to press against his cheek, breathing in his scent against the tide of the memory. He was here, and she was no longer there - the reminder anchored her. Alder's profession was a caress against her bruised soul, each one a balm she did not know she needed until it was proffered.

I am going nowhere, not without you. There is nothing - no one - that could take me from you, or you from me, she promised, the words spoken with conviction. Solvi could feel it in the marrow of her bones, the woven stitches of her very soul - as painful as their too-long parting had been, it was a necessary trial, a season of frigid cold before the sun returned to light their path. Her features warmed as she added, No more suffering. We have had our fill, and now we have the rest of our lives to make up for lost time.

Love was something she thought, at one time, that she would never have - not because she thought herself incapable of it, but because it simply was not an aspect of life she permitted herself to entertain. Within Solskin, her duty had been to seeing through a commitment made before her milk teeth were loose - an agreement forged in ego and legacy and inked with the promise of the conclusion to a generations-long war. Her heart was the one thing she had been unwilling to give up - the single facet of herself she could not pry from her chest to end the feud that her ancestors waged.

Despite the cost, there was a comfort in knowing it had not been in vain - that, in the end, she had reclaimed a part of herself that was promised away by another. After seeing, feeling the tension that was a living, breathing thing between her parents, she did not want that for herself. Solvi knew, without a shadow of a doubt, she would not survive such a match; physically, she might have remained, but it would be as a husk only.

But this - this was real. It was a garden cultivated between both of them, perhaps unwittingly, and their efforts were richly rewarded. Each sprout and seedling was tended with the passage of shared moments and the words - both clumsily spoken and those that fell, unvoiced, between them - that bound them together little by little, until it was impossible to know where one ended and the other began.

Not for the first time, he likened her to the sun. She was momentarily returned to the pivotal moment in Northfall, when neither of them had managed to summon the right words. Solvi could view it with better clarity, all this time later and with more pieces of the puzzle.

When he nuzzled into her neck, she reflexively rolled her cheek against his ruff.

You say that as though I could possibly shine without you, she mused, smiling into his fur. The burning behind her eyes reached a fever pitch, tears trekking stubborn paths down her cheeks and dampening the crimson fibers of his mane. I have already suffered days without you, I do not want for more of the same - I should be asking you to never leave.

With a sniffle, she tacked on, You are stuck with me, Alder Callosum.



RE: To heal the heart that breaks - Alder - 5/18/2026

It seemed perfectly reasonable to keep his face smashed into her neck during this exchange. If he never withdrew, he wouldn't have to see her face. Would she be horrified? Disgusted? Confused, even? What if she had no idea? What if he had misinterpreted every signal of hers up to this point and fallen into the trap so many men fell victim to - the friend zone?

Alder's thundering heartbeat was so loud in his ears, he almost didn't hear her response.

Forever.

He blinked, lashes brushing against her soft fur in surprise as he remained wholly engulfed in her nape like a scared child.

She reached over to plant an affectionate and feather-light kiss at the corner of his mouth, and Alder thought he was going to die (if he wasn't already dead). Surely his heart had stopped several moments ago right after his confession, and now this was the golden afterlife where his spirit would forever indulge in its own version of paradise. Without realizing it, he'd been trembling like a leaf - slowly, agonizingly he withdrew from the warm safety of her neck, and looked down at her with an expression close to terrified wonder.

Shit. He didn't think he would get this far.

Solvi continued to speak, saying all the right things, all of the things he had ever wanted to hear from her lips and more, and while she did so Alder very slowly and very carefully raised his paw and bit it. Four small pinpricks of blood pooled at the surface of his skin, spreading and staining the fur around them as he watched.

Not dead.

Not dead, he repeated aloud by way of explanation. Alder suddenly looked sheepish, feeling his cheeks grow fire-hot. Sorry, uh. Was checking.

Alder glanced again at the tiny blobs of blood welling at the back of his paw as though they held the secrets of the universe.

They might as well have.

The realization struck him all over again with enough force to make his stomach lurch violently within his gut. His ears burned even hotter; he became acutely aware of every point of contact between them. Solvi's warmth pressed against him, the brush of her fur, the lingering ghost of her kiss still tingling at the corner of his mouth like holy fire.

He swallowed, hard.

Meanwhile Solvi looked awfully composed for someone who had just casually altered the trajectory of his entire existence.

Alder's gaze shifted away from hers for half a second before immediately snapping back, as if incapable of pulling away for even a fraction of a moment now that he finally had permission to look, to devour her with his eyes. His expression softened into something both shy and absurdly affectionate, the corners of his lips twitching up into a hesitant smile despite himself.

Forever, he echoed back, testing the shape of the word. Yeah.

Forever.

Then, because apparently what was left of his brain had abandoned him completely, Alder released a nervous chuckle; breathless, nervous, still disbelieving. You know, he said, glancing down toward his paws. I had a whole speech prepared for this if it went. You know, wrong. I practiced it for three days, had the thing memorized like a reflex.

His eyes shifted back up.

I don't remember any of it now.

His tail twitched behind him in obvious embarrassment. For the one million, two hundred and eighty-seven thousand, four hundred and sixth time in his life, Alder had absolutely nothing clever to say. He looked at her stupidly. Blindly. Totally awash with love.

Alder moved closer without thinking, shoulder brushing against hers as his eyes searched every inch of her own sage-green gaze with hungry want. When he spoke again, his voice had softened, quiet but more confident as a totally different feeling began to take hold - a feeling he had long suppressed in her presence, a great need, like a starving wolf dying of thirst beside a river he had always believed himself forbidden to drink from.

So... he paused, suddenly finding a nearby clover deeply fascinating. Do it. Ask it. This is your chance. Do you maybe... want to continue this conversation somewhere... else?

His ears pinned back immediately afterward, regretting the words the instant they left his mouth. Fuck. Fuck. Alder, what? Really? My guy? Right now?

I mean - not for - any reason, he sputtered, Not, uh. Weirdly.

Alder grimaced.

That sounded significantly weirder out loud.

He paused again, and a sheepish smile began to creep across his tormented expression.

I just... want to stay with you a little longer. That's all.