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The blue flame was extinguished with the turn of summer, but in its absence, flowers. Great masses of them, blue in vibrancy here but purple to the west and gold to the south. They were strange, and being too close made him feel.... even more strange. Not always bad, but overwhelming. Part of him wanted to make a bouquet of them to bring back for Mintaka, but it wasn't like she was trapped in the house anymore. She seemed healthy again, if not quite the same. Could anyone still be as cheery when they lost children? Too many mornings did Penny himself sit hunched over the little grave, wondering what could have been.
Maybe it was just Penny who wasn't quite the same. He couldn't be sure. All his life, he'd always been the different one. The one who couldn't mesh with others. At least now he wasn't totally useless -- be it real pressure of losing another whelp and familial responsibility or the hope to impress, he'd been learning. Coyote's lessons had stopped when the pups were born and Mintaka nearly died, but he'd picked up enough to defend himself, to give him somewhere to start when sparring with Verbena. She still usually kicked his ass, but it was less pathetic these days. He still wasn't very good at tracking, either, but hunting was growing easier as he plied himself to work with his sister. Bit by bit, he was growing less wretched, and yet....

There was a distance between him and the others he wasn't sure was there by the circumstance of fate, their own will, or his own doltish deeds; nor did he know how to close that gap and keep from drifting further away.

So he remained steadfast. He brought back what prey he could catch from river or land, he fetched flowers, pretty rocks, and feathers for Minty and the whelps alike, found fresh moss to add to the nest, paced about keeping an eye on things outside sometimes so Coyote could have a break. He tried to be loving and careful and supportive even when the doubt in the back of his mind, constant and nagging, insisted he was doing something wrong. That they pitied him, hated him, even when that didn't make any sense. What had Penny ever done to earn ire anywhere, least of all from Mintaka and Coyote? Their shared children?

He wouldn't blame Verbena for being irritated with him sometimes, he thought, but that was his sister. She was allowed. She loved him anyways -- he would never doubt that, not after she'd come with him from the comforts of home to help navigate this fresh new life. To be an Aunt. To travel with strangers and help out.

All the ginger Nightshade could do was work harder. Put all of himself, pour all of his heart, into the task at hand: making sure Mintaka and the pups remained alive and well. Healthy. Happy. Whatever that took!

The day was shaping up to be a hot one, and while he enjoyed the heat, he wanted to make sure his family was taken care of. He cut his sparring lesson with Benny short and they went hunting instead so that he could bring back a meaty leg of deer for the silver woman back home. Now that winter was over, there seemed no shortage of prey, and Penny was keen to fix the sunken bellies they'd all been struck by. His, in particular, showcased the sharp curve of his ribcage still, but Minty would always be priority. Her and the kids were all that mattered, for now.
All he could think about, when so many months of his life had been purely survival.

The lanky man chuffed around the leg before padding into the room, tail wagging, dual gaze sweeping -- first, in a pup count, and second, for Mintaka.