Nothing was right anymore. Nothing had been okay since the day they found their parents locked in their final embrace, and Penny wondered if they ever would be again. The three remaining Nightshade siblings had gone to Uncle Spider in Avon, but Spiderlily wasn't there, never had been. His worry for the sickly sister was intense, but Verbena had become his voice of reason; claiming that rushing out to find her would only spell disaster, that they needed to rest their aching bodies. He didn't agree, his desperation to find their littermate blinding, but he'd learned to trust Benny. She was smart in ways he would simply never be, and he accepted that with grace.
His wait was less so. Pinesprings was barely present, a ghost on the borders suddenly seeming so unsure. The gap between himself and his twin stung, and he hated it, but he didn't know how to mend it either. He just continued to bring food for his brother, to be a silent companion in their shared misery. Penny wondered if his brother blamed them, imagining what it must've been like to watch their parents waste away day by day, but tried not to linger on that thought when he already laid so much blame on himself.

He waited, and he let Verbena rest, and when the time came, he was careful to say tearful goodbyes with promises to return. Never again would he vanish without a word, leaving open ended any sentiment; he'd always worn his heart on his sleeve, but he'd been more vocal about his love for his remaining family members since the loss of so many.

Getting back on the road almost seemed... welcome. A reprieve from the suffocating grief of Elysiums plight and the Nightshades mourning, though he carried a piece of each in his heart.

The hills were nice, he decided. Nothing seemed to be wrong here, and it was nice to just... walk. The obsessive need to rush was lingering in his ribcage like an animal waiting for its chance to break free, fluttering and nervous with a fresh dream to worry about. The newest wave of danger mightve been better concealed than the patches of plagued land they had grown used to, but Pennyroyal knew to fear all. Being wary, he thought, had kept him alive as readily as Verbenas continued support. Speaking of...

Benny, he rumbled softly in pitches too high, not turning to face her as they paced along searching for runes or signs of Spiderlily , Would... can you try to show me how to hunt? Mum and Dad always tried but it never... stuck.

He know how to, in theory, but he could never still his paws enough to place them carefully or without his limbs shaking. He never grew out of his youthful clumsiness, it seemed, though at this point in his life he wondered how much was just.... him, the constant pulse of anxiety, the inability to be confident. Was it even possible for him to grasp his fears long enough to survive, or would he always be a nervous little creature unable to use the gifts of his species?

'You know how to hunt, we all had the same lessons, you just...don't.'

It was the single most Nightshade answer she could give him, and the most honest. Yes, he knew how. Yes, he had the knowledge -- in fact, his one on one lessons with Papa should've given him an edge on his littermates. He had tried -- he'd tried time and time again, he kept trying. But his paws were always in the wrong place, or he waited too long (or not long enough), or the prey seemed to hear him coming even if he thought he did it all right. It was frustrating, and he was tired of being such a disappointment.

He loathed the thought that they thought of him as lazy, or unwilling.

Penny grew quiet again as they kept walking, but whether Verbena took his request to heart or realized the lash of her tongue seared him, she piped up again. Practice. Ha. He curled one side of his lip in dark amusement. He had more of that than her, he wanted to spit. He should've been as capable as she thought he was.
But when she told him to use his nose, and he stuck it up in the air to get a good whiff, the prey-scent just blended into the background like every other 'normal' smell around. It was, in fact, the one strange one so starkly different from the others, the one that his subconscious knew was Not Good, that stood out.

Dunno what it is, he frowned, but nodded in the direction of the cat.

Some kind of WHAT? Pennyroyal listened to the stories of his elders, he knew Uncle Spider lost his tail to a great cat, but he'd never actually imagined he'd come anywhere near close to one! He didn't at all need Benny to tell him to avoid that one, and he tried to commit the scent to memory so that he might recognize it on his own.
But then his littermate told him to pick again, and he knew there must be other trails she could smell. The snow-splashed teenager nearly cursed, jaws parting to draw the air over his tongue and panic swimming before his gaze. What did she want him to say?
He'd made a spectacle of himself, and in forcing his anxiety into this practice, Pennyroyal all of a sudden couldn't even remember his own name; sucking in a deep, sharp inhale, trying not to panic, he latched onto the only other thing that suddenly trickled into his senses.

He whirled in another direction and staggered uncertainly that way after a sweet smell, tail tucked up against his stomach and head snaking down low.

It was a raspberry bush. He smelled raspberries.

Penny didn't realize shit.

He followed the smell of the berries, he had no idea Verbena stopped walking, and frankly even the light-stepped half-stalk he had going on was totally shit even if he weren't quivering in his pelt. High-stepped, placing his feet back down onto things that made noise, shoulders brushing against foliage as he went; full failure was the only option as he carried on alone for several more yards. His features twisted into confusion as he circled a bush, ears flattening against his skull, searching for some... hole in the ground. A den, or... something?

He lifted his head to look around, and bumped his nose into a fat red raspberry.

Penny froze, stared at it in disbelief, and after a moment of pause in which he sent a desperate prayer up to The Five.... turned to look at Verbena. Except - she wasn't there! Panic jolted in his chest, and he spun around in place, nearly tripping over his own paws in his haste to turn.

Oh.

There, in the distance, staring at him like he was the stupidest shit in the entire world, his dear sister. All she did was motion him along and, cowed, Penny cantered hastily back to her side. If she didn't take the lead, he would pause at her hip, head hanging, and wait for her to start walking.