It seemed the right thing to do.

Checking in on everyone, that is.

Dawnbreak had gradually settled back into something of its former routine in the wake of Genghis' death, albeit with a more somber air than before. Figures moved listlessly in the shadows; checking borders, replenishing the cache, mending wounds in an almost mechanical fashion - it was as if everyone wore a strained smile at best. Every time the pack seemed to find its footing at last, another tragedy rocked their world.

Particularly that of the Shakti-Vaes family.

Aurelia was finishing up her rounds for the evening, ensuring everyone was well and accounted for. This 'head count' was becoming quite important to her, a sense of panic at the pit of her stomach clawing desperately at the walls over the thought of losing someone else - and losing them so needlessly, so pointlessly.

What happened to Genghis could have been avoided.

A thin, golden figure huddled in the dim light ahead.

Golde - her name was apt, Hello.

Aurelia realized she hadn't formulated anything else to say beyond a greeting.

I just... wanted to... she hesitated, suddenly awkward. See how you were.

Skill: Scout [1/5]

---

Standing at the border, Golde looked on with a solemn expression. 

Dawnbreak had changed. What was once a jovial group had been weighed by grief. Golde didn't know Genghis, for she hadn't had the chance to meet him—yet, she did know the powerful impact that his death had on the pack. Tiberii seemed lost, something Golde had never expected to witness. The rest of the Shakti-Vaes family seemed to be equally as despondent.

And Golde was simply lost as to what to do. The woman carried on with her duties, slipping past the Vale's rampart of snow-capped mountains, nose hovered close to the ground, making meticulous observations of the world around them. For hunting grounds, for safe areas to use as potential shelter, for the potential sighting of an intruding interloper...

The woman's gaunt frame was aching—yet to ignore the plea for repose from her overexerted muscles was preferable at this point over spending time amid the dejected hubbub within the Frostfang Vale. She huffed, turning her head and finally opting to return home after a long several days of scouting the lands.

'Golde—' The girl nearly jumped out of her skin. 'Hello.' Christ... 

Aurelia, she responded, letting out a soft breath, I wasn't expecting to see you here. A curt nod. The wolfdog took a few steps forward and halted closer to the Wisdom. 

Golde's tail, formerly coiled over her hips in astute awareness, began to relax, resting instead against her hocks. I'm just fine, she responded, just... out surveying the area. Her ear flicked back for a moment and she turned to gaze beyond the borders.

...what are you doing so far out from home? Her voice held nothing accusatory, merely surprise and inquiry. Surely a simple walk wouldn't take Aurelia past the mountains?

Aurelia remembered having a similar effect on Seven not so long ago. The waif had very nearly suffered a medical event just from her approach - was she that frightening? She tried to relax the muscles in her face, and realized only then just how tight they felt.

How long had she been frowning for?

No wonder.

Struggling to rearrange her expression into something a little less frightening, Aurelia cleared her throat apologetically and briefly averted her gaze while Golde quickly collected herself after the scare.

Counting, she said tersely. Well, that wasn't going to help anyone feel more comfortable either. I like to make sure everyone is... present, before settling in for the evening.

Genghis' death hung unspoken in the air. What had he been doing so far out from home? Why hadn't she checked in on him sooner? Trust was integral, but what if - what if her negligence had killed him? Perhaps he might still be alive today. If only, if only... Aurelia realized she'd been holding her breath and sucked in a lungful of air with a sharp hiss.

I am surprised not to see you with Hexx, she said. If the Shakti-Vaes woman were anyone else, perhaps there may have been a certain wry, probing humor about the statement, but instead it simply came out and fell flat as only a statement. It was Aurelia's job to observe, and she missed little, even if she didn't understand the finer nuances of affection. I have not seen much of him since - then. Is he well?

Skill: N/A

---

Golde didn't miss the lessening tension in Aurelia's expression. She softly dipped her head, walking forward to stand alongside her.

'Counting.' Counting—'I like to make sure everyone is... present, before settling in for the evening.' Her confusion was short-lived. What an odd way to say that she was making sure she was alright. Well, I'm present now. Golde nodded. Perhaps she was out for too long.

'I am surprised not to see you with Hexx.' Warmth blossomed immediately in the wolfdog's nape. Was her affection towards him that obvious? A soft huff left her lips and she averted her gaze for a heartbeat. 'I have not seen much of him since—then. Is he well?' As the conversation shifted away from Golde's attachment to the sire, her hazel eyes returned to meet Aurelia's gaze more steadily.

He's alright, she responded reassuringly, just... injured. From the whole ordeal. Golde sighed. She knew damn well that the man was quite unhappy without being able to conduct his duties. If only he knew how to let himself take a break...

Golde shook her head. What's important is that he's...we're healing now. Isn't it? She let out a breath. Perhaps that wasn't quite the right thing to say—Golde wasn't grieving the loss of Genghis. It wasn't her place to say what was good and what wasn't, really.

Words of comfort came only with great suffering to the Wisdom, but at least she was predictable enough it didn't take much for those around her to understand what she was trying to communicate. Golde's obvious statement almost made her feel embarrassed for her lack of gentleness - or ability - or both - and she felt her ears twitch awkwardly in response.

Aurelia had all the sexual force and know-how of a fish on dry land. Perhaps the closest feeling to whatever it was that normal wolves experienced near a 'special someone' was the inexplicable nausea that occasionally cropped up around Sólúlfur, but she typically chalked it up to an upset stomach and lack of hydration. Yes; sometimes drinking water helped.

More often it didn't.

Nevertheless, she did not presume anything overtly romantic between Golde and her chosen chaperone, as Seven had formed her own inseparable bond with Genghis - and there certainly hadn't been any funny business between the two. It was perfectly plausible to have platonic friends, even if they made you feel a little ill sometimes and made the heat rush to your face despite the cold.

I'm sure, she said, knowing the word injured meant as much within as without. Hexx had been angry that day, blaming Shiloh for stepping in to help Tiberii - yet Aurelia knew well how much easier it was to be angry than accept the truth. Genghis was already gone by the time they arrived, and whether or not they would have the privilege of bringing his lifeless body back to the Vale had been up to whatever powers watched over their sorry lot. I hope he heals quickly. I can imagine how stern he must look, glaring from the den at everyone else - he's always worked hard. Too hard, perhaps.

Maybe this would be good for him.

Aurelia's breath hitched momentarily at Golde's statement; we're healing; it had been pointed, but the silver woman made sure to keep her eyes locked firmly on the horizon as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

It's a slow process, she admitted finally, feeling her shoulders sag. For a long time I thought it was simply a feeling one could eventually overcome, but grief stays with you.

What she would have given for a cold wind to blow away the oppressive weight of the moment.

It takes a different shape - something more familiar, something you can learn to live with - but it never really leaves.

Her mouth felt suddenly dry, and she licked her lips. A year ago, Aurelia would never have spoken this much about her thoughts or inner workings, but maybe this was part of the new shape that grief now took.

Have you experienced loss?

tw: animal abuse

Skill: N/A

---

Golde remained quiet as she listened to Aurelia's quiet monologue, speaking of Hexx, of grief, of the difficulty of coping... Golde was not familiar with such. She lived her life with a demeanor more similar to that of a starving stray dog than an individual with sense and rational thought. No sort of anguish had she ever felt (save for the night out by the lake, when she thought that Hexx had drowned).

So, when the Wisdom's inquiring voice banished her thoughts, Golde was silent. Lips pursed, brows furrowed. Had she experienced loss? What, truly, constitutes a 'loss'?

I don't think so. If I had, it wasn't something significant, she mused. Her childhood was a blur of the sharp teeth of her siblings and humans' grasping hands. In the northern woodlands of Germany, where the alluring enigma that was the forest would be tantalizingly out of reach from the other side of a chain-linked fence.

What could she have lost? There was nothing there. Nothing save for an idiot family which she'd fled the moment she could. Humans who'd condemned her for biting at the hand that fed her—though the same hand would slap her. Beings of flesh and very little fur that found sick amusement when Lutiger had driven his fangs into her neck and pinned her to the ground. That was what she'd lost?

No. She lost nothing. She'd been salvaged from that hellhole the moment the collar was unbuckled from her throat. Her mother with a deadpanned expression, as if she were a stranger. Golde couldn't forget that.

She shook her head. One cannot lose what they never had—and until Mythris, Golde had nothing. I didn't have much to lose, she noted, her timbre neutral and diligently vague. Golde flicked her head back, a small gesture inviting Aurelia to join her back up the vale.

The girl piqued her curiosity. What little she'd seen of Golde, she had taken her to be somewhat reclusive and borderline skittish, preferring the company of Hexx to her other packmates - Aurelia couldn't blame her. It was natural to find one's safe space within a group.

What was curious was her profound lack of... sorrow. Then again, perhaps even Aurelia might have avoided the stinging pain of grief had circumstances been different, and maybe then she could picture a life lived in steady forward motion. No stagnation, no wallowing, no struggling to rise with the dawn carrying a heart full of lead.

She couldn't have known Golde's history, so she could only assume her experiences thus far had been either limited or complacent.

Or she was very, very good at repressing that which she did not like to think about.

A flicker of something sharp passed behind Golde's expression, and Aurelia wondered.

Her response was non-committal and murky at best. Motioning with her head, she beckoned the Shakti-Vaes to follow, and it was with almost mechanical reflex that she immediately put herself in motion.

I notice you say it in the past tense, she said, keeping pace next to the golden woman, I hope that is a good thing in this instance.

To cherish was to risk the agony of loss, something a younger version of herself might have detested - but now, somewhat wiser and more mature, she realized every tear shed was a declaration of love and worthiness to those who had passed.

'How temporary we all are,' she thought.

Skill: N/A

---

She dwelled in the silence, moving only once she heard Aurelia speak once more. 'I notice you say it in the past tense,' well, sure. She had plenty to lose, now; Dawnbreak, Hexx, the place she had finally earned in the lives of others—and perhaps most of all, the children she was yet to bear. She all held it dear and close—perhaps too much so. 'I hope that is a good thing in this instance.' And Golde did, too.

Her body just mildly wearied, the wolfdog placed herself down on the ground with a quiet huff. I suppose it is a good thing, she mused, to hold such things dear. It should be a triviality to everyone.

It was only natural for a wolf to gravitate towards their own. Golde was terrified in her youth that, perhaps, the slice of domestic heritage had stripped away her instinct for companionship. She already knew that the mentality of her forebears hung over her deep down in the form of endless paranoia—but now, it was nice to know that it didn't affect her desire for a family.

Eventually, Golde chuckled softly and shook her head to disregard her strange words. I don't know what I'm talking about, she said jestfully, I'm just too tired, I think. I'm not thinking straight. The woman rose again, her tail sweeping over the air and resting gingerly against her thigh. I think we should head home. Unless... you have any other duties to attend to? Besides counting, of course.

Few things were trivial to Aurelia at this stage in her life. Whatever she had taken for granted before - even her distaste for small-talk - was now precious beyond measure after realizing how finite they all were, how each moment shared could be the last they might see of each other.

She did not know Golde well - hardly at all, really - but even now, this brief engagement had meaning behind it. Aurelia had rarely bothered to go out of her way to greet packmates in the past unless something was required of her.

She was trying.

If Dawnbreak was to function as a unit, they needed to act accordingly.

I think I know what you're talking about, she said very seriously. And I agree.

Aurelia took Golde's suggestion to head home and moved toward the woman hesitantly, quirking a brow meaningfully toward her hip.

Would you - would you like help? she asked. You can lean on me.

Something flashed across her mind's eye, and something in the way Tiberii and Shiloh had so often snuck furtive looks at each other seemed to click when she caught a glimpse of Golde's tired gaze.

Hm.

You can also tell me all about Hexx as we walk.