For Khaemwaset if you're up for it! <3

---

Much and more went into playing at handservant than Hotep had appreciated when he accepted the role. He knew what to expect as one waited upon, but the finer points of waiting required some cultivation. Had he accepted a title akin to his station in the world before, it would have been easier to perform, if only in that how he postured, and what liberties he was allowed in private, would be unaligned. As it was, he felt now a worry that he might assume too much by virtue of always being allowed to assume such things in the past. This position was an honour, a gateway into Pharaoh's political intrigue... but still not a return to the height Hotep once perched upon.

Perhaps he was too critical of himself. Perhaps he overthought himself into a tangle.

Perhaps he ought to put this whole thing out of mind.

But where relinquishing the responsibility of Priesthood had at first seemed a great and humbling relief, more and more the trials demanded of him required reliance on the Mysteries of that vaunted role. He thought of Azalea's dead child, and wondered again whether he could have saved the son. He thought of the runes, and the powers at war for the land they claimed under Ra's light. Phoenix heard the voice of Osiris himself!

Accepting Hotep's own helplessness and that he could do nothing to change things as one of lesser authority began to feel more a trap, a limitation, a shortcoming. He stood caught between ways of being. And now he struggled to discern whether it was right to question Pharaoh's interest in taking a concubine.

Bah! This endless circle of anxiety was getting Hotep nowhere. He was supposed to be bringing Khaemwaset supper!

Noticeably belated in the task, Hotep returned with bowed head and placed a tray of local game mixed with delicacies of fine fruit dried in the deshret. Figs and waterfowl, Mighty One.

---

cute mouse signature <3

for the present, only Akhet held pharaoh's mind. merneith was busy with her handmaidens, and though they took meals together and walked beneath emerald light cast by low branches, khaemwaset had become accustomed to their separation. it would only make the question of their divine connection more pronounced when it came. for his part, pharaoh was growing into himself not only physically, but in terms of mind as well.
when setemhotep attended, Horus was pulling himself from the nearby stream, limbs deliciously aching from the several laps back and forth he had done to keep himself honed. water rolled down his jetstone pelt; his eyes gleamed gold beneath the cascade of droplets thrown wildly into the air.
figs here. he bit into one at once, sitting down and taking another with relish. on the third he glanced toward his servant-scribe-physician-herald, thinking how skilled the other man to be all these things and yet unobtrusive.
have you seen the Great Royal Wife yet today? asked khaemwaset, his mind upon merneith at all times and pointedly so, now that this new pressure of heirs was added at every turn. have any from jakten visited our camp?

ty! :D

---

Hotep watched surreptitiously as Pharaoh came forth from his endeavor with rippling ebon fur, slick against a muscular form fit indeed for a god. Sesh swallowed dryly, and averted his gaze again.

...I have only seen the Divine Queen in passing, my lord. Hotep replied, choosing his words with some deliberateness. She seems well, but I am sure she would be glad of your company.

The frustrated reservations sworling in Hotep's mind did not lay suspicion upon the Queen. Merneith had found him in the wastes, and even knowing his past failures, accepted him into this new life with open arms. It was to her he owed his very station. He valued her piety, and had adjusted well enough to her importance that these days, he did not question whether Pharaoh kept her too close to his heart. Her steadying presence had value, in Hotep's opinion, and could not be more starkly contrasted with Nefertiti's beside Akhenaten.

But a... devotee of Hathor? He feared she served only her own interests, and wondered why Khaemwaset indulged in such posturing. She did not come from Jakten! This was no foreign alliance in the making! And still, it was considered Pharaoh's right to keep consorts. To bring up the change at all might be insensitive.

Especially when there were more pressing matters underway.

A slow inhale. To my knowledge, none have yet come into the camp. But I have met several near the border, including the Einvaled Jaxxon, and was but recently called to aid one of their mothers through her labours.

and i would be glad of hers, khaemwaset said with much feeling, his appetite stilled for now. the golden eyes moved in the direction of their heat-forbidden obelisk, and he sighed, its sound ending in a frustrated grating. i have been dreaming of the palace, setemhotep. of all three. i can see my mother in the red rooms that belong only to pharaoh. i can hear the echoing songs of priests in muat-riya. i can taste in my mouth the sand as i was pulled up with neith from the Duat.
faraway, that gilt stare of pharaoh.
at last he blinked, his smile holding a coldness he did not move to hide. make yourself useful to jakten, yes. they may ask for you again, and for your skill there will be tribute. he settled over his food. what did you learn of their ways and their women? asked pharaoh with a growing interest, hunger returned as he began upon the waterfowl.
small bones were mouthed out, and he made a neat pile of them beside the bits of fig uneaten. sapair's words came back, and khaemwaset was only just able to hold them away.

There seemed no deception or dishonesty in Pharaoh's assertion. He loved his Queen, still, as he had always loved her. This was plain in the heat of his voice. Hotep studied his own paws, thoughtful. The Divinities did not quarrel, of this he was fairly certain, now. But why then did Khaemwaset seek to test his flirtations upon another of lesser appeal?

The edge of Pharaoh's teeth bled into his voice, then, and Hotep flicked an ear — pulled briefly from his musing.

It felt special, to be offered these intermittent insights into his lord's mind. Memories and hopes and fears! A young god saw something worth confiding in, when he looked at sesh, and this had always been the easiest source of self-comfort to Hotep.

He had no family left. His bed was cold at night, and he expected always would be. His friendships were professional and mostly one-sided, required of a physician who could not let impulsive emotion sway him in any moment of crisis. But if he could be useful, he could find other ways of belonging. And if he could find purpose in service to the gods, he would not be lonely.

So to feel there were things he did not know, particularly regarding the temptations of a relative stranger, sat ill. Especially in the wake of Akhenaten's blasphemy.

None of this, of course, was fit to speak of to Pharaoh.

The change in subject brought another reprieve, with Hotep no closer to deciding how or if to broach the source of his distraction. He blinked.

Make yourself useful.

Yes. Even these hyksos would come to fear and awe the might of Pharaoh, and bring offerings to befit his glory. This was the proper way of the world.

Hotep nodded. Their women are... blessed by Heqet. He settled on, a quirk of a smile touching his lip. With several offspring in the egg, and more to come. Their men seem to take many mates, some even from the same sex. Hotep cleared his throat, glancing to the side. They are numerous, and very fierce. There is an uncontrolled violence here that strikes me as barbaric, and I wonder that Set in his uncastrated aspect is not their patron.

A pause. Then, Your dreams sound far more pleasant than the land we now occupy, Mighty One.

khaemwaset became motionless as setemhotep described the fecundity of their nearest neighbor. touched by Heqet; and it was a damnable thing. only the strain of his mind caught the warning in the physician's words, that some feral animation haunted this place. had he not felt it himself? but he was distracted overmuch by the first thing said, and stared fiercely off into the shadows as a long silence came to pass.
oh, setemhotep. a raking sigh crawled forth from his throat. thank you for the observations. but you have just told me that our massive confidante and potential enemy holds the power of lineage to outweigh my own.
that they were of the same would have interested pharaoh, but not now. there are some within the palace who believe that -- and here his paws spread — i should have the promise of heirs through concubinage already. he was young, proven in at least some mettle, a fine explorer, a perfect Horus, untried save for the most important strength of all: that of generation.
a pensive quiet tried to drop, but khaemwaset's voice cut through it again. if Set in his fullness is their patron, then they are a matched enemy for us.
the golden eyes closed.
i would do well to court peace where my mother would have sought the same. and peace cannot come at my expense, nor that of satriya. my dreams are only what has been. i cannot live inside them.

Skill - Orator

Lineage!

As if a bolt of lightning from Set's storms struck him entirely, Hotep felt he had an answer to much that went unasked.

Khaemwaset had waxed before on the weight of his bloodline. This, sesh realized, he should have come to guess before. His mind had been haunted by fears from past lives. Where Pharaoh dreamt of peace, Hotep was afflicted of nightmares.

I am not so certain of their power. He replied after a measured moment, assuming a shape he was more accustomed to taking as the tightness in his chest molded into a more metallic determination. The parents fear daily for the lives of their offspring, with little recourse. Some may even defect, if offered safe harbour beneath a falcon's wings. In this he served Satriya and hoped to make space for Azalea, and it felt good to bridge both motivations.

Set in all his might could not contend with Horus in the end. Hotep remarked, the passion of a priest not gone from him, even if trappings were, As Amun-Ra sails the sky each day, and Khonsu changes form, these cycles must play out. You will no doubt be tested, Pharaoh, in politics, in battle, and in — other forms of power. You will rise as Horus did. The very challenge itself is proof of your divine feathers! Have faith, Mighty One, you need only keep Ma'at.

As to the concubines... Hotep twisted an ear, It is understandable the matter of heirs must weigh upon you, regardless. Palace whispers! A source of recurrent frustration for the sesh in this life and the one before. All had opinions, ambitions, desires. An ear might go deaf trying to discern all. Lord, you have told me what others say of this. But do you also believe it?

slowly did khaemwaset relax until at last he had become the shining paragon of grace which birth had bestowed upon him. it surprised Horus to know that there was a sort of dissent behind the closed ranks of jakten, and he nodded once but did not answer.
this question asked by setemhotep rode pharaoh's mind, and he turned over and over the ancient weight of histories and names to which he could not place faces, only names.
or namelessness.
at last a sigh issued gustily from pharaoh's chest. no, he said at last. i do not believe it. and i do not want it. but then i think, setemhotep, khaemwaset went on, searching for the sky through the wound branches, that if i were to die tomorrow, that satriya should wake without a pharaoh, there is no way to save my sister.
the modulated voice of a god went on, but his eyes had become wet.
if something should befall me, she must maintain control. as pharaoh all heads here would bow at her feet, but she would be relegated to choosing inferior consorts. if she remained as Wife to the Gods, she must marry and legitimize one as pharaoh. in times past this has been -- generals. priests. viziers. loyal egyptians, but common by comparison. i can see no way to avoid insult to her royal blood.
allow a servant to sit upon the throne, or worse, a foreign prince. allow lesser men to fill the harem, to give merneith a chance for half-divine children. if i were to ensure that this line goes on, there is a chance to keep our mighty succession from its first breaking in many years.
but if i do this, i risk her heart, setemhotep, and mine as well.

Skill — Heartbroken

At Khaemwaset's no, a bit of tension Hotep had not realized he held loosened.

He thought of all the many and more things he could say, to encourage, to challenge, to critique. Questions he might ask. Holy words he might recite. It took some time, but Hotep nodded in careful consideration to show Pharaoh's words did not go unheard. Indeed, they were weighed with great respect.

And horror.

For at a point did all anxiety returned tenfold, and Hotep shook. Only faintly, but in a way beyond his control.

You are the living Horus, the mighty bull who is tall of plumes... He recited, fighting to lock a piece of himself away that was not fit for the eyes of his god-king, and grateful for the many years of practice in obeisance and advisement to steady his voice, Your belief is a powerful thing. If you were to die, we would bury you in a tomb of magnificence. We would fashion a ka for your ba to receive offerings from. You would travel West in the form of Osiris, and from there, you could still protect our Queen with all the ferocity of your godly stature. And that is only if a thing here could kill you, my lord. The space between realms is thin. There have been dreams, signs, voices on the wind. Phoenix Rising hears the words of Khentyamentiu as if he stood beside her. And have you not passed through Duat already?

In this regard, Khaemwaset had more power than most.

Queen stands by your side, her shoulder next to yours as you give offerings and pass decrees. It may be wise to include her also in such planning, for it is her future that would be dictated. The heart is a sacred thing, Pharaoh, to risk either of yours upon an uncertain altar in her absence is... treacherous. And there the measure of Hotep's voice fractured.

He looked away, mortified by the weakness of his body after so many months spent in recovery. But it was not a weakness of the body, not really. I learned, in my life before, the tale of a Pharaoh who was very mighty. Strong and fierce and hot-blooded, as the heir-Horus should be. He, too, felt burdened by weight of all expectation, and — he had in his heart great love for another. A sour recitation, yet like an oozing wound, Hotep could not stop it. He wondered in anxious sudden bitterness if this was why he had been saved by the gods. A story only he could tell. But the demands of godhood were greater. So in rashness, he upended Heaven, and laid its fractured pieces at their feet.

Hotep swallowed, and his jaw clenched so tightly he wondered the teeth did not fracture, The one he sought took great offense to this, would never have desired it, and all affection or certainty turned to red sand. In this, Great Pharaoh, you are blessed that your love and your duty may align. Do not shatter one against the other.

---

beautiful post, fave line 'So in rashness, he upended Heaven, and laid its fractured pieces at their feet.' omg

rashepses' smile returned to the face of his gods'-gilded sun, growing into a golden beam as setemhotep laid true balm upon the soul of his pharaoh. at some point he shut his eyes to further hear, to catch at the tendril of worship and knowingness that he had seen only in one other. senmut. yes. an air of priestliness had filled this small clearing, and he had forgotten the food grown cold by now. he was within a temple, transported; he had his face uplifted to the sun, listening as the sesh surrounded him with the surety of his own life.
Have faith, Mighty One, you need only keep Ma'at.
for a long while, khaemwaset was quiet, moved, transfixed. he felt the hand of the gods upon him; he missed fiercely the scarlet stone rooms wherein he and merneith had been taught their histories both living and dead, where the portraits of a dead grandfather and his murdered queen had moved them to know themselves as Ma'at's own answer.
had he not shifted it from his brother?
had he not changed all things so that he had become pharaoh?
yes. once i have passed through. and from the Duat again we were reborn.
his voice dreamed. his heart did not.
i hear you. my ears behold your words. his mouth twitched. you remind me of a man who loved the gods so much that he was touched by divinity in the end. senmut. a peasant priest eventually made erpa-ha by my mother when she inherited first the role of queen, and then of pharaoh. he had refastened his attention to setemhotep, his eyes still faint with the glow of the power which thrummed about he and the sesh. i see in you the pinnacle of piety that i expect all to reach in satriya.
he stood, turned his face to the heavens once more. i cannot break the sky, for my sister holds the arrow. we are one, and if i am to be beautified before her years, then i will be content from this moment on that our land will always have a Horus.
khaemwaset leveled his gaze once more on the other man. my grandfather and his queen created what gave rise to me. he had all at his hands. he threw it aside in pursuit of hungers never fulfilled. he shattered the stars and Ma'at turned Her face away from him. i will remember all you have said.
another long look; then pharaoh blinked and became the idol once more. offer these mothers and their children harbor in my name, sesh. if any should come at your word, i will give them minor titles and place them in useful roles. their children, also, would be educated inside the palace, even if they were destined for the military, nobility, or even as bodyservants. and i will speak with the queen.