[lady ichimonji kaede knows it will take time to adjust to the jungle. without the briny breeze offered by a nearer ocean, her fur often feels sticky. clammy. kaede speaks nothing of this. she does what tasks are asked of her and does not look directly into any faces save those of her children. it feels good to have layre close, but she is alone when she sets off. or at least, it feels she is alone. the lady does not go far. she carries a single rolled leaf and sets it beside the edge of running water, stepping at once into welcome coolness which at once soaks down to the roots of each hair. her paws trace the slipperiness of ancient moss. she leans back into a curved tangle of wood smoothed by eternal current. kaede bathes, indulging herself with thorough combing of claw and tooth. she is loathe to leave the stream; she sits beside it, shivering a little in the night air. but it is warmer here than the rest. her bundle contains dried wisteria petals, the last carried from the rise, and these she sets to breastbone and brow and back, soaking them against her fur until the oils open and clutch at her pelt, and as the floral fragrance rises around her nostrils, kaede smiles once to herself, a wistful, pained look.]

lady ichimonji kaede knows it will take time to adjust to the jungle. without the briny breeze offered by a nearer ocean, her fur often feels sticky. clammy.

kaede speaks nothing of this. she does what tasks are asked of her and does not look directly into any faces save those of her children.

it feels good to have layre close, but she is alone when she sets off. or at least, it feels she is alone.

the lady does not go far. she carries a single rolled leaf and sets it beside the edge of running water, stepping at once into welcome coolness which at once soaks down to the roots of each hair.

her paws trace the slipperiness of ancient moss. she leans back into a curved tangle of wood smoothed by eternal current.

kaede bathes, indulging herself with thorough combing of claw and tooth. she is loathe to leave the stream; she sits beside it, shivering a little in the night air. but it is warmer here than the rest.

her bundle contains dried wisteria petals, the last carried from the rise, and these she sets to breastbone and brow and back, soaking them against her fur until the oils open and clutch at her pelt, and as the floral fragrance rises around her nostrils, kaede smiles once to herself, a wistful, pained look.

He followed his mother's trail. Maybe he was too old to still be following her, but he was still just a boy, and he was immensely worried about her. She always seemed so strong to him, and she still did, but he could sense something off about her—a melancholy, maybe—but to Kyoami it was something he couldn't quite pinpoint. She seemed sad, and he wanted to fix that.

Mother? He spoke quietly as she sat at the edge of the stream, a small gathering of flowers at his grey paws. He knew she liked flowers, and he'd picked the ones he had thought smelled nice.

[it is not the step of a stranger, but of her son, which breaks the silence that must at last indeed be broken. amid the cloying trails of the floral perfumes from the rest, there are more and fresher fragrances. kaede turns with a smile. kyoami. please. come and sit with me. it hurts her to know that in a right world, he would be with some tutor or another, too busy to bob after her. he would have a home, attendants, structure. here she fears kyoami will fade, and this she cannot allow. he might be as bright as the flowers between them. what do you think of the jungle?]

it is not the step of a stranger, but of her son, which breaks the silence that must at last indeed be broken.

amid the cloying trails of the floral perfumes from the rest, there are more and fresher fragrances.

kaede turns with a smile. kyoami. please. come and sit with me.

it hurts her to know that in a right world, he would be with some tutor or another, too busy to bob after her.

he would have a home, attendants, structure. here she fears kyoami will fade, and this she cannot allow.

he might be as bright as the flowers between them.

what do you think of the jungle?

With a dip of his muzzle, Kyoami picked up the flowers and padded to his mother's side. He set them at her feet, looked up into her beautiful face with a gentle smile.

He considered her question. As a boy who had known the den in the woodlands, the beautiful wisteria island, and now this jungle, he found that home was with his family and was not a place. But among these strange new wolves, he felt terribly unsure of himself.

It's nice, he answered with a warm, albeit uncertain smile. I'm sure I'll get used to it. He was more worried about his mother. Do you like it?

[kyoami is growing. kaede rarely thinks of his father -- his true father -- outside of moments when she realizes that her son might look like that man. a breath, drawn. i want a home for us. this will be that place. it is not quite an answer. kaede finds she does not know what to say. she is not happy because this is not about her happiness. she would live within the rotted bark of a fallen tree or inside a pit of dirt if it means that tatsuhime and kyoami will thrive. her happiness is not something kaede has considered for a very long time. before the birth of her children. she tastes the lie. kyoami. it is time i speak of your father. her mind pushes away the hunter's face and draws the faded planes of her first husband's eyes to her mind. his name was ichimonji taro, and he was son to a selfish father and brother to impulsive men. he was the best of them all, and for this he paid.]

kyoami is growing. kaede rarely thinks of his father -- his true father -- outside of moments when she realizes that her son might look like that man.

a breath, drawn.

i want a home for us. this will be that place. it is not quite an answer. kaede finds she does not know what to say. she is not happy because this is not about her happiness. she would live within the rotted bark of a fallen tree or inside a pit of dirt if it means that tatsuhime and kyoami will thrive.

her happiness is not something kaede has considered for a very long time. before the birth of her children.

she tastes the lie.

kyoami. it is time i speak of your father. her mind pushes away the hunter's face and draws the faded planes of her first husband's eyes to her mind.

his name was ichimonji taro, and he was son to a selfish father and brother to impulsive men. he was the best of them all, and for this he paid.

There was no answer to his question—no true answer—and in her unspoken words, Kyoami believed his mother was not happy with this place. But, she wanted for a home and declared this would be the place. Kyoami nodded, acknowledging her words, her wishes.

His ears pricked at the mention of his father, his real father. Ichimonji Taro.

“...and for this he paid.”

His ears folded back, brows creased, lips grew tight into a frown. What—what happened? He wanted to know, or, he thought he wanted to know. He could sense that something bad had happened, and his heart quickened with fear and dread for a man he'd never known.

[your grandfather was the head of clan ichimonji. he chose me to marry his third son, taro. the recollection was stark. the father of your father was a powerful man. but he was also a cruel thing stained by murder and later by fear. when he became sick at the end of his life, he said that his three sons must all inherit the leadership. kaede closed her eyes. this was not fair. only one must become Great Lord. each brother knew it. they spoke against their father. they spoke against one another. first brother was sent away on pain of death. your grandfather did not trust them enough to choose. he thought that by forcing them to share, he might preserve his lineage. what he preserved was nothing but his own selfishness. there were things kyoami must never hear. but she would tell her son all that she could, no matter the pain to her heart. i told your father he must take the leadership from your grandfather. i said he must also keep this from his brothers. it was his right. kaede had never known the notions of her father-in-law. she had not asked. what she had taken with her was based on perceptions of the man; his ferocity -- his closed face -- his rejection of what she felt to be her mate's birthright. she had been chosen. she had been left to struggle alone. for this reason and for others, she does not speak their names. their memories do not deserve to put down roots in the good soil of kyoami's heart. your father and second brother began a battle with your grandfather. but it was second brother, your uncle, who killed ichimonji taro. kaede does not allow her son to think. she is not thinking either. she is only reciting the bloodstained edicts of another time. your grandfather was spared. i do not know why. he was spared even while his clan broke from what he had done. your uncle hunted his third brother and killed him also. i escaped between the banishment of your father's father and the search. i was only a widow and i did not matter to second brother, the new Great Lord. kaede reaches out softly to cup kyoami's face. but he would not allowed me to leave if he had known i carried you and your sister. you are what is left of taro. you are the only son of your father. this was too heavy for her son to bear. he was both only a child and the rightful claimant to the leadership of that farflung clan, a boy who would be a man as noble as the emperor who had given them shelter. pride -- kaede wanted what had been robbed from her to be restored for kyoami.]

your grandfather was the head of clan ichimonji. he chose me to marry his third son, taro. the recollection was stark. the father of your father was a powerful man. but he was also a cruel thing stained by murder and later by fear. when he became sick at the end of his life, he said that his three sons must all inherit the leadership.

kaede closed her eyes.

this was not fair. only one must become Great Lord. each brother knew it. they spoke against their father. they spoke against one another. first brother was sent away on pain of death. your grandfather did not trust them enough to choose. he thought that by forcing them to share, he might preserve his lineage. what he preserved was nothing but his own selfishness.

there were things kyoami must never hear. but she would tell her son all that she could, no matter the pain to her heart. i told your father he must take the leadership from your grandfather. i said he must also keep this from his brothers. it was his right.

kaede had never known the notions of her father-in-law. she had not asked. what she had taken with her was based on perceptions of the man; his ferocity -- his closed face -- his rejection of what she felt to be her mate's birthright.

she had been chosen. she had been left to struggle alone.

for this reason and for others, she does not speak their names. their memories do not deserve to put down roots in the good soil of kyoami's heart.

your father and second brother began a battle with your grandfather. but it was second brother, your uncle, who killed ichimonji taro.

kaede does not allow her son to think. she is not thinking either. she is only reciting the bloodstained edicts of another time.

your grandfather was spared. i do not know why. he was spared even while his clan broke from what he had done. your uncle hunted his third brother and killed him also. i escaped between the banishment of your father's father and the search. i was only a widow and i did not matter to second brother, the new Great Lord.

kaede reaches out softly to cup kyoami's face. but he would not allowed me to leave if he had known i carried you and your sister. you are what is left of taro. you are the only son of your father.

this was too heavy for her son to bear. he was both only a child and the rightful claimant to the leadership of that farflung clan, a boy who would be a man as noble as the emperor who had given them shelter. pride -- kaede wanted what had been robbed from her to be restored for kyoami.

It was a lot to take in. So young, so naive, Kyoami didn't understand the strife that had begun when his grandfather declared his father and uncles were to rule together. As a boy who had not grown up in a pack, such concepts were beyond his comprehension entirely. Why couldn't they rule together? Why did they speak against each other? Would he speak against his sister if his mother told them to rule together? No, he thought. He would do what his mother said, of course. He would do anything to make her proud of him.

Such were the ideals of the child.

His brow furrowed as he wondered why his father and uncle had even fought against his grandfather. He didn't understand. He understood even less why his uncle killed his father… Maybe he had a change of heart, maybe he was just a bad wolf. But Kyoami's world view was too small to fully grasp the whole story. Ambition and cunning were things he did not yet know.

Kyoami looked up as his mother cupped his face. Would uncle kill me and Tatsuhime, he wondered? But he did not want to sound scared. He did not want his mother to be sad or worried.

I won't let anyone hurt us, he said. If anyone ever came, that was. Kyoami didn't see a reason why they would. And even if they didn't, he would protect his family. His mother, his sister, Rio, Layre. He would have to train.

[i know. kyoami will be strong if he is allowed to live in service. out of role comes status. out of status comes reward. our emperor shenlei is very strong and very wise, kaede begins, the edict of any vassal. our family must become important to his aims. i want you to learn all you can from those around you. it is best that you follow layre among the guards and learn the world around you. but you must be a scholar of all things, my son. it could mean his life. one day, it might mean his uncle's death. kaede hopes she might live to see that day. she sees she has given him much. too much. her smile is wan but firm. he must take these words into his sleep and he must learn to live them. in time all truths would be revealed. keep watch over tatsu. i will ask the same of her. it was time to grow beyond childhood, even if he was still only a boy.]

i know.

kyoami will be strong if he is allowed to live in service. out of role comes status. out of status comes reward. our emperor shenlei is very strong and very wise, kaede begins, the edict of any vassal. our family must become important to his aims. i want you to learn all you can from those around you. it is best that you follow layre among the guards and learn the world around you. but you must be a scholar of all things, my son.

it could mean his life.

one day, it might mean his uncle's death.

kaede hopes she might live to see that day.

she sees she has given him much. too much. her smile is wan but firm. he must take these words into his sleep and he must learn to live them. in time all truths would be revealed.

keep watch over tatsu. i will ask the same of her.

it was time to grow beyond childhood, even if he was still only a boy.