[yes. yes. cen tried it; he tried to stare past the womanliness of crying-wind's face into what she could be. what she wished to be. cen glimpsed it, though he did not allow himself to trust. pain at last leapt to limn the lines of his mouth; he let out a fierce breath and the eye cut away. to look beyond iglux̂ was to see his own shame; the tormented face of the sharadoii, the hurt in the crownwolf's face to know herself not named beside him, the almost-there disdain carried for him always by muradoii, who had not seen him as her own in the end. cen, reaching for the love gheli had give; cen, torturing four wives because they were unable to match what he had felt for a dead woman. he had even run off his own son, the last vestige of hope in a past life. to look beyond iglux̂ was to see his own sin. he realized now it was why he had not seen her. i see. and i see i do not deserve. the words were out, and the anger rose hot inside cen for her, searching out blame to place even as he felt a rush of relief to say it. he had not deserved gheli either. it was the last true time his heart had felt. he did not deserve iglux̂. but he felt entitled to her body, her heart, her mind. she offered it, and he had closed a cold wall around to hide the fact he did not meet the man she wished him to be. but, for her, he wanted it. he wished it. he had always searched for more, beyond the lanzadoii. he did not understand until crying wind that it could be found here in the now. no more words. cen waited. he always waited.]

yes.
yes.
cen tried it; he tried to stare past the womanliness of crying-wind's face into what she could be. what she wished to be. cen glimpsed it, though he did not allow himself to trust.
pain at last leapt to limn the lines of his mouth; he let out a fierce breath and the eye cut away.
to look beyond iglux̂ was to see his own shame; the tormented face of the sharadoii, the hurt in the crownwolf's face to know herself not named beside him, the almost-there disdain carried for him always by muradoii, who had not seen him as her own in the end.
cen, reaching for the love gheli had give; cen, torturing four wives because they were unable to match what he had felt for a dead woman.
he had even run off his own son, the last vestige of hope in a past life.
to look beyond iglux̂ was to see his own sin.
he realized now it was why he had not seen her.
i see. and i see i do not deserve.
the words were out, and the anger rose hot inside cen for her, searching out blame to place even as he felt a rush of relief to say it.
he had not deserved gheli either. it was the last true time his heart had felt.
he did not deserve iglux̂. but he felt entitled to her body, her heart, her mind. she offered it, and he had closed a cold wall around to hide the fact he did not meet the man she wished him to be.
but, for her, he wanted it. he wished it. he had always searched for more, beyond the lanzadoii. he did not understand until crying wind that it could be found here in the now.
no more words. cen waited. he always waited.