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By some blessed turn of the Gods, Shenlei did not pull away. He still somehow managed to sound distant – perhaps it was his words, repeating ever so softly that they didn’t get to choose their circumstances. Of course, he meant it sympathetically, to spare her soul of the guilt that came along with something akin to royal servitude – but Yue heard his unintentional, secondary meaning loud and clear:

that he didn’t choose her.
never even had the luxury of choice.

Yet somehow, he still managed to make his own bed, and he lay in it well. What a luxurious bed it was – draped in fine silks and filled with women, all desiring the opportunity to bear him children. They wanted their sons to be Shenlei’s heirs, not hers. For this reason, Yue managed this well and folded softly into his embrace, as if her mind never had any questions, and her soul never felt the distance that yawned between them.

The surprising pain that their reunion spawned within her was nothing compared to the realization about her empire. It fell upon her swiftly, with the finality of an enemy’s blade. Their past lives were gone, but if the holy Emperor was to be believed, all could be rebuilt with the few bricks they had been left with – and why was the Emperor not to be believed?

Her ultimate faith in him kept her calm, in that moment. Moreso, she felt awash in a wave of gratitude, as eternal as the flame that lit the temples. He spoke so many words, such sweet and honeyed words, that somehow (despite the entire fall of her empire) she wished for the moment to never end. Bless you, son of the heavens, for securing the fate of your family once more, she uttered sincerely, in a tone as soft as it was weighty. The Empress never hid how deeply she revered him.

It is a debt I do not know how to repay.

Was there a debt? Certainly, it was divine providence that Shenlei was to gather their court, to keep those they loved safe. Was that not why society existed, to become strong in numbers, and to keep sacred the lives of those who lived within proximity? It took a strong man to bear such a weight – Yue was often amazed at how a mortal such as her husband could bear such a weight.

The answer, when demystified, was clear: it was herself, the Empress, who helped him to bear it. She helped him by securing his lineage and bartering for peace amongst the kingdoms with the fruit of her womb.

There was a debt, indeed.

Her pale irises fell to the place where his paw connected with the smooth front of her limb. It was warmth, when everything else in this world felt frigid. Me too, Shen. His words danced in her head: I am glad you’re here.

The words sounded like hope.

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