"Ye aren't ah monster tae be feared in th'dark, Sarge."

Something about the words echoed differently in his mind. Comforting? A lie? Doubt? He didn’t know, so he let it be.

Sarge forced himself to hold her gaze, to not turn away when she was clearly hurting. The things he had done to survive certainly haunted him. It didn’t matter that the orders had come from others, he was still the one who spilt the blood, who caused suffering and trauma. His deaths were due penance, not some honorable sacrifice.

Again, he let the thoughts pass. If he voiced them, she would argue. She would grow frustrated. They would go in circles. He didn’t want that.

Wisp offered to listen, to guide, as she always did. Did he want her to take that role with him? He had never thought of her as a guide of souls. She had always just been Wisp.

With a deep breath, he let out a quiet sigh. Lowering his head to rest on his paws, he stared at her in silence for several long moments.

Could he do this? Be vulnerable like this? In front of their children, no less.

I watched my father kill my mother, he said at last. Couldn’t have been more than a few months old. He left me to dispose of her body. I still remember the bloodlust in his eyes, the way he laughed when her body went limp. I remember the hours it took me to dig her grave beneath the willow tree. The way I struggled to move her to her final resting place. Watching her disappear beneath the dirt.

He grimaced, turning his gaze away as the memories surged forward.

He tortured me. Ripped out my nails. Bit me until I bled. Beat me black and blue. Denied me food. Trapped me in small spaces. His jaw tightened. I was just a plaything to him. Something else to break. A mistake he took pleasure in destroying.

Golden eyes grew distant, the room blurring around him.

I killed him, Sarge continued quietly. For revenge. And I enjoyed it. The feeling of breaking his bones, crushing his windpipe. The satisfaction of watching the blood pool around him. His lip curled faintly. He laughed even in death, knowing he’d already destroyed me. That he’d won.

His father’s burning gaze flashed through his mind, and Sarge shifted uneasily.

I ran to the military after that. Figured a killer like me might as well be put to use. A hollow breath escaped him. I’ve never regretted anything more. If I thought my father had ruined me… it paled in comparison to what they did.

He paused, swallowing hard.

Rebuilt me into a.. He stopped short, unwilling to say the word aloud, unwilling to wound her further. An obedient, mindless soldier.