She knows him well enough to know he doesn't intent to be cruel.
Not in the way that one desires to be truly hated.
If anything, she softened to hear those brutal statements and questions. It meant that Caan was able to comfortably express, and it took someone who had known harsh words for an entirety of life to know when they were meant to stab, and when they were meant to do..anything else. Indeed, if he meant it to sting, that too was okay. She was grateful for his presence.

Yes, yes. I know. Aivar was not dumb. Well, yes, he was very dumb, but not incompetent. Caan found the fragility in the excuse and poked through it but did not pry on why it was there. For that, gratefulness.

I suppose I am learning now that earlier would have been better. You are right, though, that this was not planned. I am aware it seems as though we ran away into the night to have children, but it was the farthest thing from my mind. Nutuyikruk meant that. She did not view Aivar as a body and piece of flesh to run rampant with in the winter; although, perhaps some primalness, little to Nutuyikruk's knowledge, had pushed that need to explore over the edge in some way.

As for my future with Aivar, I'm uncertain. I do not know what he wants yet. He doesn't have the ties here that I do. He is given the title of a slave. How cruel of me, to lead him back here. But I am unwilling to abandon my home.

She perhaps knew his next thoughts. Of my many irresponsible decisions, I figured the smart one was to begin preparing sooner than later now. I see it is already quite late.