He wasn't here.
Nana is almost certain of it at this point.
It does not, of course, make her feel better. Which, in itself, is blasphemous. This coiling fear like a snake writhing in the cage of her ribs, ready to strike at any moment - she should never feel this way about a holy man. And yet she does, and it is crippling. Never before had it taken so much energy to behave normally.
Nana is fortunate enough to be left alone for the most part, and she finds routine in maintaining areas of the territory deemed holy.
Normal. Everything is normal.
Her belly has begun to swell.
Her scent has begun to change.
And Nana feels shame.
There is no part of her that can rid herself of the life growing within her stomach, and she fears when others will take notice and judge her for the actions it took to set this new life into motion.
The shrine maiden wonders if she'll be punished. Wonders if she'll be shunned.
She smothers on wisteria blossoms to hide the scent of pregnancy and goes about her day in spite of it all.
The sound of footsteps approaching has the hair on the back of her neck raising, and Nana spins with a touch of frantic fear in her eyes. This dissolves the moment she recognizes the man, replaced instantly with wide-eyed surprise, which then softened at the edges with affection.
Nana is almost certain of it at this point.
It does not, of course, make her feel better. Which, in itself, is blasphemous. This coiling fear like a snake writhing in the cage of her ribs, ready to strike at any moment - she should never feel this way about a holy man. And yet she does, and it is crippling. Never before had it taken so much energy to behave normally.
Nana is fortunate enough to be left alone for the most part, and she finds routine in maintaining areas of the territory deemed holy.
Normal. Everything is normal.
Her belly has begun to swell.
Her scent has begun to change.
And Nana feels shame.
There is no part of her that can rid herself of the life growing within her stomach, and she fears when others will take notice and judge her for the actions it took to set this new life into motion.
The shrine maiden wonders if she'll be punished. Wonders if she'll be shunned.
She smothers on wisteria blossoms to hide the scent of pregnancy and goes about her day in spite of it all.
The sound of footsteps approaching has the hair on the back of her neck raising, and Nana spins with a touch of frantic fear in her eyes. This dissolves the moment she recognizes the man, replaced instantly with wide-eyed surprise, which then softened at the edges with affection.
Ruito,she says, taking a step forward. Her voice laced with hope and disbelief.