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Set after Caan's visit to Iglux̂'s den.

 

The heir spent his day visiting the many mothers within the Saastine. The Sun Clan grew with each full womb. Already, nine pups were born to the caribou hunters. His kin, his blood.

Lives born outside the Lanzadoii's blood were due soon.

The sparse moonlight filtered through the trees as the rain hunter set upon a path few had traveled. The scent of a girl known most of his life littered the earth. The scent of fresh snow crisp, and the scent of raspberry sweet. His eyes remained fixed ahead of him, set on his destination. With each passing blink, he would swear spots of light would linger in his vision. Unable to see the scattered flecks within his own gaze that glowed softly in the darkness.

The heir approached an active construction site. Dirt swept into piles and the earth scored with claw marks. With a sweep of the scene, his voice broke nighttime drone of insects.

Nutuyikruk.

Caan. Adoration was in the name-- relief.

He had grown again. Where he had been lanky and awkward with her, now too were the both of them filling out at their edges. Nutuyikruk, yes, in a way that was less..of muscle and more of the things more obvious to the eye. Still, there were changes. The blow of winter coat came with new white specks forming along her back, changing out the old with the new. So sorry she had been for leaving this boy. Though Nutuyikruk wondered of leaving and never returning in that time, the thought had never been true in heart. No, only the whimsical adventure of exploring what might be if there had once been a life of true love. Of a complete, entire wholeness encapsulated by mother earth, and feeling almost complete with Aivar, the wild, but never quite.
How could it be?
It would never be without those she had grown up with.

It is good to see your face. Setting aside the work of digging, wiping both paws clean and putting away things that made the area messy for company.

The tufts upon the moon girl's ears twitched. He watched the lynx-like strands as her ears swiveled and head turned.

His name falls from her mouth in a breath. Easy, relaxed, and without scorn. He wondered then what was it that made the girl fond of him. Nutuyikruk herself had not been spared from his barbed tongue. Rather, she was perhaps one of the first to be draped across coals by his teeth.

The moon girl stood in the hole carved by her own efforts. Mud speckled her underside, gathering most on the curve of her belly and collecting between white toes. She tided herself and the space in a quick, easy motion. It did not take more for her than the first thought to tidy up, it was second nature. Or so what he assumed as he observed the girl.

The night's gloom did little to obscure the swell of her sides. Even if it did, the change in her scent was all he needed to know that she too was to be a mother. Some unidentifiable bittered his tongue. He simply swallowed it, as he did most other things.

Why do you do this on your own?

Aivar had filled her with pups, did he not care to make a safe place for them to be whelped? It was easy to "other" the stormcoat within his mind. Aivar did not make waves with his arrival to the Saastine. None that carried out in his favor, anyway.

Caan stepped forward to the edge of the inlet carved into the earth. Nutuyikruk made this scrape within a clearing. His gaze traveled upward, studying how the moon's glow fell through the boughs in shafts of silver light.

It was already May. Many cows in the herd had calved, though some still stood with swollen flanks. It could not be trusted that a heavy snowfall would return to supply the girl with all of the building material need for a snow shelter. What snow remain in the shadowed stretches of the woodland was packed with water. Damp and laden with crystals of ice. Moving the snow may very well turn whatever shelter the girl made into a bogged down mess.

You may not be able to make a true snow shelter.

It was a strange question. Why should she not do so by herself? She was self-sufficient, capable, and had learned to be incredibly quick at cleaning common areas and preparing hides, stripping carcasses of important items. When the Saatsine left a kill, it was she who returned to take the dew claws as Cen had taught, who harvested the antlers from the skull. Preparation for move was forte, and though not so much in active stay, it should have been reasonable assumption that she was just as capable of learning that as she had all the other things of Saatsine-- if not because it was her job too, and no one else's. Cen expected her to learn by observing, and to repeat their traditions. It was especially true that her den did not benefit others, and so they would not help her, for they never had.

I suppose I am too embarrassed to ask him for help. I am doubtful he knows how to..... Aivar was the only option, other than the red boy which her master's wife had spoken of, but she refused to be so easily replaced in work by one of her peers.

But it's nothing I can't figure out! There were few things which had stopped her. A survivalist, if nothing else; although, the failed attempts had been disheartening at first, and the beginning of a den should have been started weeks ago. She wondered if more experience would have allowed for that knowledge, but perhaps the stress and first-time things had prevented more reasonable decisions. Would it have been wiser to pick a place higher in elevation? Lower? And how far must she be from the rest of camp so that she and her children did not disturb the rest of Saatsine? Already, a nightmare of a thought, being within such regular proximity of Caan's new family that her kids might make mistakes with Meleys' and Iglux's children. The beatings would be horrendous. At least at a distance, there would be more control of their whereabouts and interactions. Her greatest fear was seeing her children be children and cause an accidental scar or injury to one of the important bloods. Which was all of them!

Chest out, inhaling deeply, looking at the beginnings of a hole where roots were not as prevalent as they'd been in other areas. She was able to dig around them this time, for last time she kept burrowing into them!

If I'm being honest, I'm not sure what I'm doing. As a little girl, I do not remember ever having a den in the months my memory starts. I was inside a tree hollow like some squirrel! I thought it was wonderful, having it all to myself. But after seeing the other mother's dens here, I'm pretty sure that isn't a usual decision!

When you are comparing your work to that of man who has built them numerous times and that of a slave under the eye of a woman as ruthless as the darkfang, yes, your birth den may seem unusual. Just as you are capable of looking at their shelters and learning, so too can Aivar. I refuse to believe is his skull is too thick to.

Did the moon girl believe that it was something wolves were born with, the knowledge of building shelters? Caan, having no children and lacking a womb, did not share her instinct to put feet to soil as she did. To churn the earth or to carve wider a space already present. Looking to the hole they stood beside, Caan looked at the roots the poked through the soil.

It would have better to have your pups earlier. Although, you said that you had not planned to be marooned in the north. I suppose this was not planned either?

His tone is casual. It is a privilege he has with Nutuyikruk; never has he needed to impress her. Frigid eyes settle upon the slave girl's face. He does not pin her beneath his gaze, simply search her face.

Do you intend to marry Aivar, now that you've grown his pups?

She knows him well enough to know he doesn't intent to be cruel.
Not in the way that one desires to be truly hated.
If anything, she softened to hear those brutal statements and questions. It meant that Caan was able to comfortably express, and it took someone who had known harsh words for an entirety of life to know when they were meant to stab, and when they were meant to do..anything else. Indeed, if he meant it to sting, that too was okay. She was grateful for his presence.

Yes, yes. I know. Aivar was not dumb. Well, yes, he was very dumb, but not incompetent. Caan found the fragility in the excuse and poked through it but did not pry on why it was there. For that, gratefulness.

I suppose I am learning now that earlier would have been better. You are right, though, that this was not planned. I am aware it seems as though we ran away into the night to have children, but it was the farthest thing from my mind. Nutuyikruk meant that. She did not view Aivar as a body and piece of flesh to run rampant with in the winter; although, perhaps some primalness, little to Nutuyikruk's knowledge, had pushed that need to explore over the edge in some way.

As for my future with Aivar, I'm uncertain. I do not know what he wants yet. He doesn't have the ties here that I do. He is given the title of a slave. How cruel of me, to lead him back here. But I am unwilling to abandon my home.

She perhaps knew his next thoughts. Of my many irresponsible decisions, I figured the smart one was to begin preparing sooner than later now. I see it is already quite late.

I am aware it seems as though we ran away into the night to have children, but it was the farthest thing from my mind.

He recalled his stilted conversation with Iglux̂. The way it seemed children were simply an afterthought. Were woman always like this? Was this why Morwenna split the clan? Was this why Sivaak simply walked away from her children? He did not understand the decisions women made in motherhood. Perhaps he never would, or it was simply his inexperience in life that made the fault in his understanding.

You do not need to justify your absence to me. You have returned. It is a half-truth. He desired so greatly for an explanation to what the moon girl was thinking if not of children when she submitted herself to Aivar. But was is not the way of the Lanzadoii to wander? To hike away from the band but to always return to the march, wherever it may be?

Meleys bore children, with no man to be found in the clan. Although, Caan could scarcely imagine his aunt as a wife. She was not cut of the right cloth for it, unlike Iglux̂. And perhaps Nutuyikruk herself.

He slept with you, sired your children, and is content to simply walk away? The tone of his voice was incredulous, baleful. He knew in truth that Aivar was not content to have returned to the clan. The stormcoat's watchful gaze and jagged posture stuck within his mind. Perhaps it was Aivar's intent to ferry the moon girl away all along. A pity then, that he did not understand the girl he chose.

But I am unwilling to abandon my home.

With a sharp turn of his head, Caan huffed quietly. He is a fool. He spared the moon girl from comment, knowing well enough that she would hear an endless stream of jabs, if she hadn't already.

Stepping into the hole, Caan pressed his toes into the soil. It was all too easy to sit and ponder alternatives to events that already happened. "What ifs" and "maybes" regularly occupied his thoughts, but he knew that it was a waste to lament when there was something that could be done. Namely, figuring out how the girl would shelter her children.

A snow shelter, I doubt you can make at this time. But you were stowed away in a tree as a child, yes? Would not a tree's roots hold the earth in place?

And so we were. She was not entirely positive how children grew in her belly, but she knew that what they had done resulted in them in some capacity. It was strange, knowing that there were many who presumably did such things and came out with no children— scents did not go beyond Nutuyikruk’s nose. Who had been sweaty with who was clear. Why Saatsine spirits and Sedna let her conceive now was a mystery, but one she had no time to sit upon.

But believe me when I say there will not be more from me. Not unless I marry. And it was not that Aivar had told her he would not stay and hold the vows of a husband! But simply that all of the unknowns of what they would be, where this would lead, was too much to burden on little children. They deserved parents that were confident in one another’s goals, this she had experienced as a child more than once in various ways. But enough of boys and children and marriage! She had so much to know of what Caan had done.

So, she barred herself from any future intimacy until marriage.

Stepping to the blue storm’s side, she nodded as he examined her work. I think I’ve started to get that thought too! So, this time, I’ve tried digging with the roots and not into them. A small laughs, awkward, but her own failures was comedic even to herself.

While I figure it out, would you tell me how your march was?