At least it's not fucking snowing.

It's been pouring snow the past few days, and Dimitri's been shivering non-stop. He should move his den back towards the main pack lands, be more sociable, but that means facing the fact that he's kinda been shitty lately. And there's no further proof in that than the fact that Amaris, the child he'd been so excited to meet before losing his mind, is now almost a man grown.

He had been the one to see Amaya in all the visions, too, and he... He rarely spoke to the eclipse. It's wrong, honestly. And how does one right that failure? Frankly, he's wanted to for some time, but anxiety keeps his hands bound. He cannot help but wonder if Amaris would hate him for his distance. Dimitri certainly hated Viscaria for it. And yet, if she had chosen to say a word to him, would he have listened?

No? Yes? No? It's complicated.

Trekking over the fresh snow, he intentionally seeks Amaris now. Having seen the little sun seek him out, it's reminding him that everything is so ephemeral. That this life could die out any minute, and would anyone speak a word about him? Violet and Sreda knew him once, but it's... Complicated. But he sees the moon-child now, feeling each inch of his intestine start to curl up and clench. He could throw up. He's been the worst, unforgivable monster.

If Amaris forgives him, he wouldn't deserve it.

"Hey." His voice is choked, soft, a little creaky. He coughs, ears flicking back, and tries a louder, "You doing much?"

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Skill: ---

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The winter chill was unforgiving as it whistled between the peaks, the sharp air like knives across his snout as he pushed through the territory in silence. The snow had come fast and hard, dotting the horizon with blankets of white as he stepped precariously along its quiet crunch. He had thought about grabbing a meal, a small snack from the territory’s cache. Yet, disappointment quickly laced his features as he made his way toward the buried earth.

The ground was frozen beneath him, a hard surface beneath his nails as they scraped aimlessly along the ground. Nothing.

And though he could have dug it up and spent his afternoon releasing their meals from the winter season’s unruly grip, Amaris did not. Instead, he turned on his heels and stared at the winter-kissed forest that greeted him. He’d have to hunt, and perhaps a warmer meal would be a better one, after all.

Yet, before his legs could motion him forward, the sound of clicking… and crunching against the frigid snow rooted the moon-touched boy in his spot. His ears angled forward, twitching against the winter breeze as he twisted a head toward the sound of a voice.

Dimitri.

Amaris offered his older brother, one he did not quite know all that well, a softened smile. Hey, he greeted with a gentle bob of his head, No, just searching for a meal. In truth, Amaris had never been close to his older siblings, barring his relationship with Sreda—a relationship built upon his mistakes but flourished into one of trust nonetheless.

But…Violet, Alder, Dimitri…he didn’t quite know them, and they didn’t know him.

—is something going on, Dimitri? He asked as a tick of concern crossed his silver expression.

This was a mistake. Is a mistake, honestly, because he's going to keep making it.

"Ah, nothing wrong, just. Saying hello." He shifts awkwardly, glancing at the frozen ground. "A meal, yeah? Cool, cool. I uh. I take it you weren't hunting, though?"

What a weird fucking thing to ask. Dimitri can practically taste his own paw pads, his feet are wedged so hard in his mouth. How does one say 'I'm sorry for treating you like you didn't exist for the start of your life, I want to make it up to you now?' Should he explain his own dilemmas? The things leading to him becoming more reclusive and shy in the first place?

Or would Amaris even want that.

"...I can go if you uh. If you're busy." Might as well put it out there, that Amaris doesn't have to humor him.

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Skill: —

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Amaris watched his brother with a carefully drawn-out gaze. While it was perhaps suspicion that met his skin with a tantalizing shiver, concern, and warmth flooded his citrine stare as he blinked along his brother’s silver-dusted features. He knew little of the happenings of his older brother, perhaps a mistake of his own as Amaris had similarly never made an effort, but that had not meant that things could not change.

His tail shifted into an easy-going way behind him, his mouth swallowing the unease that continued to ripple beneath his skin. Dimitri said he was fine and so Amaris would believe him.

An ear shifted at his words, and Amaris found himself shrugging, I uh, he started before clearing his throat: why did things feel…weird? was not. Aelia always said he needed to hunt more, his body far more slender than it should’ve been. And although his body was aimed toward the forest’s edge, a beckoning toward whatever meals might have existed within the tree’s forested embrace, Amaris still held little desire to actually…do the work.

His stomach be damned.

No, no, he quickly interjected toward his brother’s words, I’m not busy. He paused momentarily while his sunlight gaze tracked along the outskirts of Elysium’s territory, his mind trying to figure out what he could offer…

If his brother didn’t need something, did he just want to talk?

Care to walk with me? He offered quickly through a sweeping gaze toward the violet stare of his brother, Maybe you can tell me what you’ve been up to? I don’t think we’ve talked very much.

Amaris extended the olive branch, and though he feared his brother would not take it, he tried nonetheless.

He notices the offer. He turns it over and over in his mind, and wonders if he ought to have come high. Sober, he's too full of thoughts, too prone to worrying. The drugs take the edge off. They make him able to function. But he knows refusing would be worse than taking the offer-- at least, at first. Perhaps eventually Amaris would realize what sort of person Dimitri is and want him to back away again. Is it better to be honest early or to see if it's possible to put off opening that box of cats?

Moving in step with Amaris, he exhales slowly and considers the reality before him. A reality where he's part of his family and not a satellite on their orbit.

It's a harrowing thought, really, that he could drag someone else into his mess.

"It's my fault, really." The words are out before he can stop them. "I... Didn't have control over myself." He gives Amaris an apologetic look. "I've missed so much... I'm sure you... probably could have used a brother, honestly, and I'm sorry for that. I want to tell you and Amaya that my den is open to you always, that I... I would gladly listen to anything you have to say. Whether it's questions about the Five, or the spirits, or magic, or... just life." He realizes he's left out one. "Aelia already knows. She's the reason I'm even doing this. Seeing her reminded me that... That maybe I should be a better brother. To all of you."

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Skill: Soothsayer

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Amaris remained silent as they walked, his eyes trained on the horizon ahead as he counted the rising of his chest once and then twice and then… again and again and again. It was easier to distract himself from the nerves that alighted beneath his skin than to wait for his brother to speak. In reality, it shouldn’t be weird; this was his brother, and yet—it was. He wished Aelia was beside him now, a buffer to the unease and silence he felt crawling up his back.

In truth, Amaris was partially responsible for the discomfort. He neither had extended his paw to the rest of his older siblings, barring Sreda, whose insight into exorcisms had led him toward her creepy ol’ cave. But Violet? Alder? Narcissa? and Dimitri? His older siblings had been nothing more than passing ships within his orbit.

He didn’t seek them out, and neither had they sought him.

His ears perked and twisted toward his brother’s words, and though the sound of them had his hair initially rising in a flood of adrenaline, his beating heart eased as a smaller smile spread across his lips.

It’s alright, He murmured in kind, I guess I didn’t make much of an effort either. He confessed, with a slight bump of his shoulder against his older brother’s. We can start…fresh if you’d like?

Maybe they should do some brotherly activities…although Amaris didn’t even know what those could be.

His gaze shifted back toward the horizon in which they walked, I have been sort of a recluse myself, he added, haven’t really spoken up with any of you either... He drifted toward silence, his ears twitching against the quiet crunch of rock and gravel and dirt beneath his feet.

However, after a momentary pause, he turned to side-eye his brother with a curious glint, Is it true you met a demon? Amaris recalled there had been whispers of exorcisms, and he felt it couldn’t hurt to ask, especially if it would help him with his own and the shadows he routinely saw.