---

For Amaranth

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If she closed her eyes, Valeska still imagined she smelled of smoke.

As they drew nearer toward the dancing flame, she smelled something, certainly, but it was not the smoke which had emanated from her burning fur before. It wasn't the choking, black kind that clung to charred forests or seared flesh - this was sweeter. Cloying. Like glittering tree-sap, like golden honey, and it bloomed from a fire which now appeared wholly different.

Valeska had not wanted to come back.

The first time, her wife had shoved her.

There was no gentler word for it.

True, she had refused help; refused to lie down, refused any poultice or healer's attention to tend the necrotic flesh at the base of her tail. It was her punishment from Pennyroyal, and she would bear his grief-stricken justice to its bitter end - for it was her fault that his parents had died. If not for her stubborn refusal to leave, Nemean and Fleetwood might still be alive. She missed their voices; his low rumbling reassurances, her cheerful optimism.

No one would ever hear them again because of her decision.

Valeska would have happily allowed the infection to spread into her bloodstream and die the way they had, but Amaranth had other plans. She had brought the silver woman to the then-blue flame, whispering sweet nothings as her muzzle trailed down and along her spine sensually, gently laid her teeth upon Valeska's tail...

And gnawed the whole thing off right there before shoving her into the fire to cauterize the wound.

She had saved Valeska's life, and Valeska had the audacity to be ungrateful.

Why is it pink? she asked suspiciously, breaking the silence between them. Amaranth had somehow managed to persuade her to return to the flame where their relationship had taken its first major blow, and Valeska still couldn't figure out how she'd done it. By all accounts this was the last place she ever wanted to visit again, but curse it all, the golden wraith was so persuasive and so insistent, it had to be important. Maybe she'd arranged a beautiful bouquet of flowers nearby as an apology, or set up some other elaborate means of demonstrating remorse.

But no.

The fire had simply turned pink.

... And why does it smell so... strange? Valeska said aloud, almost to herself. The scent was oddly alluring. She felt herself drawn to the flame, and where every rational thought might have been screaming never again never again fire is still hot as the grass is green you idiot, that voice was swiftly drowned out by the intoxicating sweetness emitted by the vibrant flame.

Stopping a few yards short, she seemed to flag. The nub that was left of her tail appeared to droop with her.

I am not - angry, Amara.

Valeska swallowed loudly.

I know why you did it. I had only felt... robbed. Robbed of what was owed to Pennyroyal, for his parents, our friends - a penance for their deaths, she said thickly. Her eyes blinked back fat tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. Do you understand? My neglect was not ignorance, but shame. I wished my fate to be left to Houtu to decide. To measure the weight of my sin.

Skill:

---

They moved together.

It was a soft, familiar dance, flickering from behind heavy eyelids of desperation and worry. It was silent, the way they slithered forward, their bodies touching and yet so distant. The softness of a non-fatal blow. The familiarity of a nuclear war.

Yes. The world was at war.

And yet ...

"Why is it pink?"

Truly, Amarnath did not know. She only knew that she had been drawn so diligently toward it. Her vision flickered with stars, her nose inundated with the potent scent of florals. Amaranth knew nothing outside of the apology and love she felt for her mate ... a mate she had most recently removed the tail of so unceremoniously.

But it was ceremonious.

She felt it. The warmth.

It resonated from her depths.

As they slowed, their bodies twisted around one another, their shadows entwining. Amaranth's eyes would look upward, intentionally catching the golden gaze of her mate. She would blink, cautious and worried, and yet ... Amaranth was home.

"I know why you did it."

Valeska would continue to expel her 'sins', and Amarnath would listen, somehow drifting closer with each passing moment. After a few moments, their chests were touching, their closeness resonating. And Amaranth would soften, relaxing into the familiarity of Valeska. She would absorb those pains, those sins.

She would take them all, dragging them away from Valeska.

The rest was easy.

Do you know how many souls you've saved? She'd look up at Valeska beneath hooded lids. Valeska. Amaranth would smile, pushing softly closer to entwine gold and silver furs. You ... you are the reason so many see the truth. The stars. She'd nudge closer, muzzle to cheek, delivering a soft kiss to Valeska's chin. Amaranth wanted nothing more than to replenish their closeness, but also ... to ensure Valeska understood her worth.

Houtu speaks through you.

The spirits.

Houtu.

The pink flame.

They could withstand anything.

---

Closer and closer Amaranth drew, fluid and serpentine in her movements. Valeska could never hope to mimic such grace, awkward and clumsy as she was, and she still wondered what it was that the golden wraith saw in her that kept her here. How long ago the converging of their paths seemed, her delicate form draped over a pile of bones bleached by the sun, and even then the High Priestess knew their meeting important - ordained.

Friends, at first.

With every understanding between them still and none at all, the bond between them had grown and bloomed into something so much more than either could have ever guessed. From acquaintances, to friends, to lovers, to mates, to mothers. Back then they had seen each another as in a mirror dimly, but now, face to face; back then, they had known only in part; now they knew fully.

The sensation of Amaranth's heat against her shoulder was like fire. Valeska took a sharp inhale, inadvertently sucking in a lungful of the treacherous pink smoke, and suddenly her vision began to blur. No longer could she smell the sweetness of the flame; now her senses were flooded with liquid gold and the heady scent of lavender and dark earth, and all she could see was Amaranth.

Her Amaranth.

Everything Valeska had ever done, she had done with her at the forefront of her mind. It was well enough to call the Respite a haven for the lost, the wayward, but really, if she looked deep enough - it was for her. For them. A future bathed in golden light and rolling fields of green, a sparkling lake of crystalline water and mountains as high as the sky itself ringed around them like an embrace. Children's voices filled the air, the laughter of their friends, and together they would forever revel in the treasures they had found and created in the name of love.

Valeska shattered, and she leaned into Amaranth's embrace as she wept.

And you are the reason for everything else, she said nonsensically, but meaning every word of it.

Only you. It has only ever been you.

Wet tears stained the Augur's fur as she pressed her face into her neck. The two of them stayed like this for a little while, only the sound of the crackling flame disturbing the heavy silence between them as the snow began to collect along their backs.

Finally she withdrew.

I am sorry. I was not - I was not angry with you. I was angry because I felt it was not what I deserved, she said, the words tumbling over themselves. But now I see that maybe... maybe this was Houtu's will. That you were meant to save me, and I was blind.

Valeska sagged.

Oh. I am so tired, Amara.

Skill:

---

For those weeks after the 'incident', Amaranth had felt nothing but the ache of cold within her chest. Without Valeska's light and warmth ... Amaranth withdrew into the shadow of what she had been before. Just a beast, a creature with no purpose, born into a life that she did not deserve — a life she did not even want. She had been a lost soul, delirious and set on the trajectory of tragedy, drowning herself in the illusions that she'd created in her waking dreams.

The wraith would inhale deeply, the strange smoke coating her lungs.

She was a monster, once.

And perhaps she still was.

But did not feel like a monster with Valeska. When they were together, everything was as it should be. The pieces of Amaranth's dark were awakened by Valeska's light as they slid together in the perfect taijitu (Yin-Yang symbol). It was, and always had been ... destined ...

Entwined.

Valeska collapsed into Amaranth's welcoming embrace, the two merging seamlessly. The sensation lit Amaranth's skin aflame in a way that was ... unusually noticeable. It left a warm glow in the pit of Amaranth's stomach, a consuming sensation that elated her like a drug. She'd missed it so much — she needed it. This. Valeska. All of their collective imperfections (which were just perfections to Amaranth), all of Valeska's tears, all of her weights and her worries. All of her.

"Only you. It has only ever been you."

In this life. And the last. And the next. And the rest.

The crackle of the flame accentuated their embrace as Amaranth swam in the sickly sweet scent of the flame mixed with the grounded smells of pine and snow. And then, they would pull back, blinking toward one another within the basking glow of strange pink light.

Valeska shared her truths, and Amaranth would share hers, too ... fueled, perhaps, by the smell of roses.

And I am sorry. I acted rashly. I was ... afraid. Amaranth would frown, flattening her ears. Afraid of the only thing that chilled her to the bone — losing Valeska. She'd been so afraid that she risked their own relationship in what she thought would save Valeska's very life — and more importantly, her soul.

The world was cruel.

"Oh. I am so tired, Amara."

Tired. Oh, so was she. The spirits quaked, the world twisted. Their souls were exhausted.

Amaranth would raise a paw, gently lifting Valeska's lilted muzzle. Me too, she hummed, her voice nearly a whisper that trickled through the dappled snowfall. Amythyst would meet gold, all the love she held displayed fully now as the wraith smiled and moved her muzzle toward Valeska's to offer her a gentle kiss.

What if we ran away together? And Amaranth, so normally stoic, would release a soft, chiming laugh. Her voice held a strange, dreamy quality as the high of the smoke (and the high of Valeska) contaminated her brain.

---

Home. Home was here, enveloped in Amaranth's scent, listening to the sound of her voice like an ethereal whisper uttering words that would only ever be shared between them. Valeska did not consider herself particularly possessive as a whole, believing all good things should be spread amongst themselves with openness and impartiality, but she would never share Amaranth. The mere thought of any lifetime where they did not meet was incomprehensible.

Valeska belonged to Amaranth as much as she did her.

Afraid? she mumbled back, surprised. It wasn't like Amaranth to talk about her feelings, much less fear. Searching her face with hungry eyes, she found it almost as painful as much as it was flattering for the Augur to be frightened on her behalf. I am sorry - I would never wish to bring you worry. It seems in my self-punishment I have hurt more than I have helped.

Lowering her gaze, she felt a strange sensation flutter in her chest as they pressed silently against each other. The pink flame was beautiful, she thought, and so warm; she took a deep, bracing breath and felt its hazy smoke enter her lungs, and somehow the feeling in her chest seemed to spread throughout her entire body. Her heart hammered in her chest.

Valeska blinked.

Did she hear that correctly?

Run away together? From the Respite, their family, their friends?

The heady sweet-scent filled her lungs again and answered, yes.

Just the two of them. Had it ever been just the two of them? They had always been a part of something greater together, key components of a collective where it had been their duty for so many years to watch over them all and give and guide and protect...

That sounds wonderful, she breathed without thinking, every moment feeling that strange warmth from earlier saturating her senses. The truest bliss she would ever know, she felt in her heart, was Amaranth. Running away together to spend the rest of their lives selfishly enveloped in the love they shared for each other was as close to a heaven as she could ever imagine, especially in this moment.

But...

What of the others? That nagging voice at the back of her mind managed to rasp through the haze.

It would be... cruel to leave them, with no one to guide what remains of Elysium. We have been a home, a haven for so long...

Valeska fell silent, watching the crackling flame.

We could... step down. We are not as young as we were, and we are both so tired. Pass the care of Elysium on to the next generation.

Her expression was, for once, unreadable. It had been a distant thought for many moons, but the reality of their situation and the effects of the smoke seemed to peel back the layers of her hesitation and allowed it to be spoken at last.

It would give us freedom and the peace we crave.

Skill:

---

It happened quickly.

The smoke went straight to her head, the intoxicating aroma of the pink flame rattling her heart in a serendipitous melody. Amaranth's heart sang ... her body flying on the fumes, uplifted in such a way that it was nearly incomprehensible. She felt ... unlike herself. She felt ...

... she felt.

And it felt good.

You do not need to apologize to me, the wraith would whisper, nearly begging. You ... saved me. You continue to save me. The truth poured from her lips, honey-laced with the truth of a soul that had been tortured for so long. A soul saved in the presence of an angel — her angel. And Amaranth would drift closer, pushing the boundaries of their skin-to-skin contact as her eyes dilated.

"That sounds wonderful." And it did. It was the most wonderful thing Amaranth could think of ... disappearing from this realm of reality and relapsing into a reality all their own. Amaranth was used to creating her own timelines ... and she'd do it again. She would do it over and over if it meant spending an eternity with Valeska.

Her mind buzzed, her eyes dilating further.

"What of the others?"

The others? Oh, of course. Selfish, selfish Amaranth. The wratih would grow silent, shriveling slightly as she cowered into Valeska's warm ruff. Amaranth's mind sought out answers, ones that would seem less selfish than the way she felt. Her silence encapsulated them, but only for a moment ... because Valeska would soon free them both of their rigid chains.

"We could... step down."

What an idea. And the woman need not elaborate, for Valeska would find purchase in the idea herself. Amaranth would simply listen, her mind and ears an open sieve for the ideas that Valeska's own imagination would incorporate.

"It would give us freedom and the peace we crave."

Our children are more than capable, Amaranth would offer in response, pulling her head back to make eye contact with Valeska. It came out ... too quickly ... and her mind would parse the available children they had left. Narcissa and Violet were gone. Sreda and Alder were in Northfall. Dimitri had taken up the reins in Avon. That left ... well ... Aelia, Amaris, and ... Amaya.

Very capable, yes, each and every one of them.

Was it so wrong to want Valeska all for herself?
Just this once?

Amaranth would notice the distance that Valeska put between them ... the silent hesitation heavy and notable. Amaranth would take her muzzle, brushing it gently against Valeska's chin. Perhaps it is just a fantasy, she would whisper, her mouth making its way toward Valeska's inner ear. But what else would happen next? Amaranth and Valeska's story would continue on, likely forever. Their story was cyclical. But what about Elysium?

What about their family?

It is time, don't you think? The golden woman would sigh, exhaling her breath into Valeska's ear ... and then inhaling that spicy scent of winter. She was drawn away from reality, lingering in the interum that now existed between them. She craved their closeness, and yet she feared driving Valeska away with her insane suggestions.

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